Maybe I'm losing my own mind

You know that your are the only one I'd promise the stars..you are.

That song is way too catchy and good.

Don't know what's going on in my life anymore. Don't know who to listen to. Don't know who to talk to. Don't know where to go. Don't know what to do. Eveything's a big mess but I know that as long as I keep walking I'll find an escape from this dark cave. And I think I see the end of the tunnel.

I'm so tired right now I'm crying. Not like crying but my eyes are really teary because they are so tired.

Dr. Benson...the iPad is cool but not cool enough for 50 minutes of my life listening to you talk about it when you could have graded my test. But I still love you. You're one of the best teachers i've ever had.

Zabala you're one sneaky kid. We need to talk.

And what to do with you? I really don't know. Well whatever. We'll see what happens.

I really think you should stop being so independent then blaming it on others. When you take everything on yourself and don't share much of it the rest can't do much. You need to learn to be a leader and lead people. I mean I don't even know what you're tying to do. You don't tell me everything. It will make your life so much easier, trust me.. I hate seeing you like this.

Not really sure what I want anymore. I feel like I'm losing control but I blame that to my lack of sleep generally for the past three years. I just need to sleep lol.

Hello hello hello

Can't remember when I blogged last. I think it was a few days ago. mmmm let's see..this week has just been very trying but it's been fun. Yesterday was an absolute waste of my time. Went to church, ate at Indian clay pot buffet, talked with Justin and Greg. Man Justin I need to hang out with you more man..we have so much in common. Then Greg and I argued about money for a good half hour. Drove to his house then Ben's. Chilled at Ben's house for two hours watching Disney channel. I was about to shoot myself. I just realized how much better off I am by not watching TV. there's so much garbage on it. Went to In-N-Out, left Omar in my car and went to Sam's Club. Came back Omar peaced out lol. Awwww...poor Omar QQ. Mmmmm went to Boba. Met up with Max. Got a text reply 8 hours after I sent it. Rented the hangover then proceeded to Ben's house once again. Got kicked out. I went to Nick's. Came home watched gladiator for a bit. Yeaahhhh yesterday was very wasteful.

Today woke up at 8:00 to go to David's house for the research paper. Then went to school for officers. Ate like 10 servings of almonds lol. Lydia they are actually really filling :) mmmm then went to drill. Played tether ball with Michelle while waiting for more peeps to come. Won once.. And accidentally hit her in the face roflcopter. Drill practice itself was pretty good. Pulled off an amazing plan with Chandler and Ferrenstein :) but Karma is a bitch and I almsot lost my car too thanks to an aggressive young woman who stole my keys out of my pockets. Went to Boba again but got ditched :( saw Katie Dailey and Jordan Rincon. Went to Nates house to attempt to study chem but ended up talking to Hannah about my problems. Came home fixed myself some dinner and currently debating whether to study or not lol. I'm sooooo tired from this whole week..next week is going to be worse. But I know it will all be worth it in the end. And for the joy ofthe seniors and the feeling of success I keep working.

1. Thanks so much for today. It meant a lot to me.

2. Annnddd uhh you're full of shit dude lol. seriously man gdlm. And I'll be borrowing god of war 3 when youre done :)

3. Don't stress so much man..we're all in this together.

4. You man are ...

5. lol we're only mean to you because we love you and want to toughen you up. You're such a baby sometimes

Hah

School has started once again. And summer is coming soon!

Bright Eyes
Muse
Coldplay
Vampire Weekend
The Arcade Fire
We the Kings
Blink 182
Saosin
Rise Against
Sigûr Rös

Some of the stuff I've been listening to lately. But mainly Bright Eyes and Muse. Two amazing bands. Deep lyrics, unique styles, good vocals, makes you think. Good stuff. Oh and We the Kings :) man music fills my life.

Perfect day: lazy afternoon, chilling at a park or someone's house, good music, some snacks, someone to talk to, and sunny weather, some coffee and tea, a nice book. mmmm..I can dream about it..

...

Went to the beach today with Max, Sherlene and Greg. Saw Cassidy Michelle Nick and Omar. Greg and I tried to climb some rocks. Didn't turn out too hot. Almost died making this one move. I swear a demon is trying to kill me. Uhhh walked around went into random shops. Ate at johnny rockets. Saw them again. Left the beach. Went to max's house. Stared at carpet. Left. Today was boring. Well it was ok. Nah it was pretty fun. The beach itself is really boring. Good thing we aren't.

1. Gahd you're such a baby lol. Man up. Seriously..

2. Sigh I wish you didn't hate me

3. You're actually pretty cool.

4. I'm sorry.

5. I miss you two..let's hang out tomorrow.

Thursday..

Yesterday: went climbing. Went to barnes and noble saw matt zabala really random. Called michelle had a fun convo lol. Not the subject of matter but the convo was funny. Uhnn you're sigh... Went to gamestop bought god of war collection. Watched paranormal activity. It wasn't even that scary. The last ten minutes was pretty scary though. I expected a lot worse though.

Thursday: cooked lunch. Played god of war. Went to drill... Ehhh.. Picked up Omar and went to rice box. Then went to max's with Greg and sherlene and max. Played animalopoly. Freaking awesome. Interrupted by some distracting text messages from someone. Decided to call her to talk it out. Was pretty funny. Uhhh dropped sherlene off at angelas and went to pick up Omar to go back to max's. Played band hero for two hours lol. Played cod for the first time in like a month. Went to in n out and dropped peoples off and came home and almost died. The. Demons are mad at me! But I love Jesus too much to be afraid. I will tame demons and repel them in the name of Jesus Christ the son of man and my redeemer and savior.

Dedicated to you: I'm sorry. You know we weren't being serious. Don't get so butt hurt ok?

And for the other you: Why can't they be more like you?

Ah

Man today was kind of ok I guess. Went and ate at red robin's. Went to boba to play pokemon lol. Waited for the rest of team flux to arrive. Omar drives really slow :) we had fun at threshold making fun of Omar. Ate at hot chicks. Made more fun of omar :) but we love him. Went toblockbusters argued for almost an hour on which movie to rent. Don't know whyit was difficult..freaking Greg lol. We went to staters to buy some ice cream. Went to gregs house and max and sherlene came. Learned that song from Juno at the end from michelle. Uhhh made some cookies while the kids watched Mulan. The big cookie was sort of a fail but was still pretty good..

1. God you're so annoying sometimes

2. Make up your mind!

3. High five me

4. We'll write a song one day

5. I can't wait to get away from you

Hmmmm

Today was pretty fun! Queen Mary is really nice. Like really really nice. I think you guys will really like it. Thanks Teddy B. for the meal it was really good. Hannah and vivien are so crazy lol. And poor stit i think I scared him..

1. Craziness.

2. Haha I love you man. Hope you like your car

3. It was fun :) why can't there be more people like you...

4. Sorry didn't mean to but inever really got a formal invite..I'm not a flaker!

5. Cant think of anyone else..

I just hope you don't get a misunderstanding. You probably know who you are. Hopefuly you know me too.