Today was a decent day. Overslept fifteen minutes. haha familiar. left my house in a hurry. got a little impatient. turned on the "Old Crazy Asian Driving, 'Oh, is that a challenge?', Jon" to try and get to class on time. Started weaving through traffic..so far so good. I'm still pretty pro at that. hit about 75-80 then i merged on to the 215 southbound towards Riverside. Number 1 lane was clear so switched into that lane and vroom..hit 100 saw a cop so started slowing down..was at around 90-95 when he pulled up behind me.. siren goes off. fuck. exited on barton. got a speeding ticket.
ended up being 20 minutes late. missed a good portion of the most important lecture of the course. Well its not too bad..i can just review the notes talk to some people ask my TA. went to Nathaniel's house. rock band. boba. inland. fun fun fun. oh and best buy lol. played around on the drums and guitars and stuff. chill day. came home. read for an hour. practiced violin for three hours..ate dinner..about to go to sleep. then BAM.
huge argument. my licence has been expired for a week. i was driving illegally when i was cited for speeding.. oh he also cited me for having my tint too dark..what a fag. anyways.started freaking out. going to dmv tomorrow at 7:30 to beat the crowd. 11:30 now i go to my room. turn off my lights. good night world. not.
my dad barges in, "공부 안해?!" (Aren't you going to study/why aren't you studying?" blah blah blah..whatever..i hear this everyday.. then he says, no computer except for homework, no video games, and no dramas on the computer and no TV.. sad to let him know but i rarely play video games. i never watch television, i dont need the computer for anything else except homework because i have my ipod, and i dont have time to watch dramas..
sigh tells me how much he knows his son. he should think of a better punishment! it just makes me feel more rebellious and badass. anyways. story of my life. and an hour ago he was telling me how prous he was of me. that he doesn't care if i try to go professional with violin and all this grand stuff. he's so bipolar. i hate that.
i wish i could be a better son. i feel bad for him. he cares more about my life than i do. he's trying to live two lives. he can't. he just needs to admit that i'm more like mom and not him and that i can't study as well as he can. i may be smart but that's not really who i am. i just wish he understood me.
but i need to own up for messing up big. should have turned in the licence renewal long time ago. but my dad lost it and gave it back just three weeks ago. still no excuse though.
i need to more responsible, mature, and careful. my three goals for this summer.
haha he wants me to do a practice SAT test in two hours..impossible. he needs to learn that it doesnt help to do section by section at my level anymore. i need to build endurance and quick thinking. whatever. i was planning on doing it friday morning. i feel like messing up my life sometimes just to make him miserable. but he's not worth that much trouble. i'd rather just not associate with him later..ugh but my grandmother...hmmm
feeling nervous/scared/frustrated/excited right now. my mind is scrambling.
aight
peace
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
la la la..
Got my exam results back today. 91% but my TA didn't see a question that I answered so hopefully another +4%! If not at least a +2%.. Pretty happy about it. Started falling asleep in class. Missed half of the lecture.. boo.. not good. Something about Israel, Jews, and the Zionist movement and Nationalism or something other. hmm.. haha really not good.
Violin lesson after. Went a little longer than I expected. It was pretty fun I guess.
Sleep early today so I won't fall asleep in the lecture tomorrow.
hmmmmm..
I guess I'm going to Nathaniel's tomorrow.
and chilling with my other Indian, Justin.
I should swing by Nick's too.
I need more people in my life right now haha.
I feel like KARAOKE lol anyone wanna go with?
1. You're so annoying hah. And you're not hot. at all. so please stop acting like it.
2. I miss you so much.. not.
3. If you have a problem with me..nahh. I don't think we do. right? I mean we're chill. I don't think we've had a problem but..just something keeps telling me that you don't like me.
4. I miss YOU so much seriously. I wanted to hang out with you this summer but I couldn't go to Korea. lame. Next year fo shooo..
5. you change.
peace.
Violin lesson after. Went a little longer than I expected. It was pretty fun I guess.
Sleep early today so I won't fall asleep in the lecture tomorrow.
hmmmmm..
I guess I'm going to Nathaniel's tomorrow.
and chilling with my other Indian, Justin.
I should swing by Nick's too.
I need more people in my life right now haha.
I feel like KARAOKE lol anyone wanna go with?
1. You're so annoying hah. And you're not hot. at all. so please stop acting like it.
2. I miss you so much.. not.
3. If you have a problem with me..nahh. I don't think we do. right? I mean we're chill. I don't think we've had a problem but..just something keeps telling me that you don't like me.
4. I miss YOU so much seriously. I wanted to hang out with you this summer but I couldn't go to Korea. lame. Next year fo shooo..
5. you change.
peace.
Monday, July 5, 2010
4th of July
Independence Day..sweet. Went to LA ate got haircut usual stuff went shopping went to VG after. Came home cooked dinner watched Korean dramas. Typical day..exciting no? haha. I don't really care about July 4th..its not that special. But I hope you all enjoyed it! And taking tomorrow off! well you guys probably don't have any obligations anyways. but at least for me and other summer students no class! yay.
I really don't want to go back to school. I just want to go to college and get started on my life. I'm gonna make it big and I'm determined to do so. It feels like such a waste of time going back for another year of high school. Well at least I'll be taking two "college" courses. Now that I think about it, I'll have four college course credits when I get to college. More free time means more time to study and get ahead. Then I'll have more time to party and socialize later.
I want to go for a drink.. Living in America sucks for that..in Korea I could go and by some drinks. I just miss my family. I want to drink with my aunts and my cousins. Haha it was so much fun being with them. I'm jealous of all of you guys here. Who have a lot of your family members here. I really am. I rarely get to see them or even hear their voice. I didn't even get to see all of them last summer. Hopefully next summer I'll see all of them.
That's why I never really liked Christmas or any other holidays. It feels so empty knowing that everyone else is having a huge family party or something. I've probably said this before but I don't really like my dad's side of the family. Its small, super conservative, boring, poor, too different. Its not like my mom's side is super rich, they're pretty poor too. But at least they're fun, and show love and feels like family.
I feel really relaxed and happy nowadays mostly. Except for sudden mood swings. I like it.
Its almost my brother's birthday..what should I get him? hmmmm..he's not that into video games anymore.. not really sure what he likes. He mentioned wanting a wii so I guess I'll get him that new black one maybe. I'll see.
Finished 찬란한 유산 (Shining Inheritance) yesterday. It was pretty good, but waaayyyy too serious. It was way too heavy. I like something more light hearted..like Coffee Prince haha. well started My Girl. Its pretty good. I like it. Does watching all these Korean dramas make me gay? or just a little feminine?
I admit being a little feminine, but that's because I grew up around women. I had a lot of aunts. 5 of them. And they all took care of me at one point or another. My dad was busy working at his practice. Oh and my grandmother too. Lot of girl cousins too. Hung out with one of them a lot. so i blame it on that. But i'm not gay! I hate gays.
It feels like 7:00 PM..but its almost 1:00 AM. weird.
downloaded the new AIM program..actually pretty good. I like it. I'm gonna usw it instead of meebo now.
hmmmm...I wish I had plans for this summer besides studying, reading, and practicing. But its ok. I don't know who to hang out with. But no one wants to hang out with me so its all good. I dont have to worry about it. if someone wants to they can call. I can't think of anyone that I'm dying to see. maybe a couple. but thats probably it I guess..but I miss everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying their last summer of high school. Because next year we'll all be going our seperate ways.
Makes me wonder if we'll all really bond next year. At havasu and whatnot. I hope drill pulls through. I don't know if I should do it or not. way too much pressure. And I need to worry about getting into a good college before anything else. Friends, family, God, everything can wait. well maybe not God. I need His help. and His guidance and wisdom to help me decide my future. No I'll place God at the head then I'll follow and look for schools. Our class has been kind of lacking in the class spirit area. Hopefully we change that next year. I thought maybe this year but nope. I hope I make at least one more friend that I want to keep in contact after high school.
I need to start looking at colleges..Williams, UCSD, UCLA, UCI, UCB, Amherst, Swarthmore, Vanderbilt, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth, Emory, Stanford, Pomona, University of Chicago, University of Rochester, University of New York, Brown, 연세대, 서울대.. that's probably good enough. I'm sure I'll get into at least one of those schools. I can't believe that I'm going to start applying to colleges soon. So exciting and scary. I'm gonna make it big.. thinking of going into business or law. eff medicine. too much work and can't make that much money. You're not really making profit until like the third year of working. and you don't really start working until you finish all those extra years of education and training and your money will go into paying that. Yeah it can help a lot of people and there will always be work, but I can't do that. I was never that interested in it anyways. I'm just too much of a douche and too selfish.
wow that was a lot.. I need to talk to more people lol. I've been really anti social this summer. But can't really blame me.
I <3 summer 2010. i want 09 back.
Peace.
much love
I really don't want to go back to school. I just want to go to college and get started on my life. I'm gonna make it big and I'm determined to do so. It feels like such a waste of time going back for another year of high school. Well at least I'll be taking two "college" courses. Now that I think about it, I'll have four college course credits when I get to college. More free time means more time to study and get ahead. Then I'll have more time to party and socialize later.
I want to go for a drink.. Living in America sucks for that..in Korea I could go and by some drinks. I just miss my family. I want to drink with my aunts and my cousins. Haha it was so much fun being with them. I'm jealous of all of you guys here. Who have a lot of your family members here. I really am. I rarely get to see them or even hear their voice. I didn't even get to see all of them last summer. Hopefully next summer I'll see all of them.
That's why I never really liked Christmas or any other holidays. It feels so empty knowing that everyone else is having a huge family party or something. I've probably said this before but I don't really like my dad's side of the family. Its small, super conservative, boring, poor, too different. Its not like my mom's side is super rich, they're pretty poor too. But at least they're fun, and show love and feels like family.
I feel really relaxed and happy nowadays mostly. Except for sudden mood swings. I like it.
Its almost my brother's birthday..what should I get him? hmmmm..he's not that into video games anymore.. not really sure what he likes. He mentioned wanting a wii so I guess I'll get him that new black one maybe. I'll see.
Finished 찬란한 유산 (Shining Inheritance) yesterday. It was pretty good, but waaayyyy too serious. It was way too heavy. I like something more light hearted..like Coffee Prince haha. well started My Girl. Its pretty good. I like it. Does watching all these Korean dramas make me gay? or just a little feminine?
I admit being a little feminine, but that's because I grew up around women. I had a lot of aunts. 5 of them. And they all took care of me at one point or another. My dad was busy working at his practice. Oh and my grandmother too. Lot of girl cousins too. Hung out with one of them a lot. so i blame it on that. But i'm not gay! I hate gays.
It feels like 7:00 PM..but its almost 1:00 AM. weird.
downloaded the new AIM program..actually pretty good. I like it. I'm gonna usw it instead of meebo now.
hmmmm...I wish I had plans for this summer besides studying, reading, and practicing. But its ok. I don't know who to hang out with. But no one wants to hang out with me so its all good. I dont have to worry about it. if someone wants to they can call. I can't think of anyone that I'm dying to see. maybe a couple. but thats probably it I guess..but I miss everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying their last summer of high school. Because next year we'll all be going our seperate ways.
Makes me wonder if we'll all really bond next year. At havasu and whatnot. I hope drill pulls through. I don't know if I should do it or not. way too much pressure. And I need to worry about getting into a good college before anything else. Friends, family, God, everything can wait. well maybe not God. I need His help. and His guidance and wisdom to help me decide my future. No I'll place God at the head then I'll follow and look for schools. Our class has been kind of lacking in the class spirit area. Hopefully we change that next year. I thought maybe this year but nope. I hope I make at least one more friend that I want to keep in contact after high school.
I need to start looking at colleges..Williams, UCSD, UCLA, UCI, UCB, Amherst, Swarthmore, Vanderbilt, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth, Emory, Stanford, Pomona, University of Chicago, University of Rochester, University of New York, Brown, 연세대, 서울대.. that's probably good enough. I'm sure I'll get into at least one of those schools. I can't believe that I'm going to start applying to colleges soon. So exciting and scary. I'm gonna make it big.. thinking of going into business or law. eff medicine. too much work and can't make that much money. You're not really making profit until like the third year of working. and you don't really start working until you finish all those extra years of education and training and your money will go into paying that. Yeah it can help a lot of people and there will always be work, but I can't do that. I was never that interested in it anyways. I'm just too much of a douche and too selfish.
wow that was a lot.. I need to talk to more people lol. I've been really anti social this summer. But can't really blame me.
I <3 summer 2010. i want 09 back.
Peace.
much love
Saturday, July 3, 2010
I
I wish i could go out for a drive but I don't have gas haha. Typical.
I feel so..hmmm not sure actually hah. I feel vague. there you go.
lost track of the days..is it Saturday now?
oh well..
Compassio was kinda gay. I don't know why but as soon as I walked in I was like no way I'm staying. fell asleep on the couch for a bit then bounced.
peace
I feel so..hmmm not sure actually hah. I feel vague. there you go.
lost track of the days..is it Saturday now?
oh well..
Compassio was kinda gay. I don't know why but as soon as I walked in I was like no way I'm staying. fell asleep on the couch for a bit then bounced.
peace
Friday, July 2, 2010
Hahaha why not
Since I can't seem to fall asleep why not a third post?
mmmmm..you are a funny kid. indeed.
i hope there's someone interesting next year. to make fun of, be friends, or whatever.
kind of hungry right now.
I wish I had a pet turtle that talked. or a pet chicken.
haha don't lie to me again. LA forreals this weekend. i need haircut
no class Monday! midterm today. it was pretty good I think
hmmm what am I doing tomorrow? and this weekend? I should start climbing again.
I wonder what might happen? i really do
So bored right now
on AIM..
ehhh people should just idk. well the times are tough right now but we should just all loosen up.
muse is really good.
my guitar skills are getting better. same with piano. but i'll probably drop those two to concentrate on violin. I'm really curious as to how far I might be able to go with more work.
I just want to lay out in the sun in the shade..talk for a little eat listen to music and read a book maybe. and watch clouds. look at the grass. i miss those days haha. The most relaxed carefree chill thing ever. Haha just thiking about it makes me happy. it might sound boring but thats my ideal afternoon. and for the night if i was in seoul simple dinner. maybe a bar or movies. then karaoke and go for a drive. look at the city lights of Seoul. haha I am definitely going next year. I miss my people! God just give me one cool Korean next year. Please lol. thankss..
made the best fried rice today. I'm quite proud of myself.
could use a smoke on a day like today. too bad I quit. well my dad can smoke my share. i regret starting. and you know what i hope you stop soon. you lied that you quit a few years ago but now you smoke even more. hah what am I gonna do if you get lung cancer? you know its always on the back of my mind i even have nightmares about it. stop please. i only took off the earrings because i felt bad for you. do you really think that i would care if i couldnt meet my friends anymore? haha its easy to get out when you're never home. so please stop smoking.
hmmmm i want to go volunteer or something.
still bored..
..
.
hopefully i find something to do tomorrow hahahah.
I seriously can't wait. I have no idea why I'm so excited.
Don't forget my movie!
uhhh I'm really gonna miss you next year lol a lot
I need to shopping.
Ehhhh i guess that's it. Random thoughts of the day.
Peace
mmmmm..you are a funny kid. indeed.
i hope there's someone interesting next year. to make fun of, be friends, or whatever.
kind of hungry right now.
I wish I had a pet turtle that talked. or a pet chicken.
haha don't lie to me again. LA forreals this weekend. i need haircut
no class Monday! midterm today. it was pretty good I think
hmmm what am I doing tomorrow? and this weekend? I should start climbing again.
I wonder what might happen? i really do
So bored right now
on AIM..
ehhh people should just idk. well the times are tough right now but we should just all loosen up.
muse is really good.
my guitar skills are getting better. same with piano. but i'll probably drop those two to concentrate on violin. I'm really curious as to how far I might be able to go with more work.
I just want to lay out in the sun in the shade..talk for a little eat listen to music and read a book maybe. and watch clouds. look at the grass. i miss those days haha. The most relaxed carefree chill thing ever. Haha just thiking about it makes me happy. it might sound boring but thats my ideal afternoon. and for the night if i was in seoul simple dinner. maybe a bar or movies. then karaoke and go for a drive. look at the city lights of Seoul. haha I am definitely going next year. I miss my people! God just give me one cool Korean next year. Please lol. thankss..
made the best fried rice today. I'm quite proud of myself.
could use a smoke on a day like today. too bad I quit. well my dad can smoke my share. i regret starting. and you know what i hope you stop soon. you lied that you quit a few years ago but now you smoke even more. hah what am I gonna do if you get lung cancer? you know its always on the back of my mind i even have nightmares about it. stop please. i only took off the earrings because i felt bad for you. do you really think that i would care if i couldnt meet my friends anymore? haha its easy to get out when you're never home. so please stop smoking.
hmmmm i want to go volunteer or something.
still bored..
..
.
hopefully i find something to do tomorrow hahahah.
I seriously can't wait. I have no idea why I'm so excited.
Don't forget my movie!
uhhh I'm really gonna miss you next year lol a lot
I need to shopping.
Ehhhh i guess that's it. Random thoughts of the day.
Peace
ehhhh
fuck that last post. well all the part after the Nell Part. and the apology to chandler
that ain't like me. haha ehhh idk what was up with me. I won't delete it so you guys can read what was in my head. but hahaha idk what to say. I just wish I turned out a better son. aight
peace
that ain't like me. haha ehhh idk what was up with me. I won't delete it so you guys can read what was in my head. but hahaha idk what to say. I just wish I turned out a better son. aight
peace
Nell..
I am deeply sorry for your family and your losses. I understand the pain of losing a parent but both is just unimaginable. Everyone here is praying for you and your family..hah don't know what else to say... its just so unfair..
Chandler Yen..don't worry about it. You didn't even do much. It was mostly me and Greg. I don't understand why you were there with us. And I feel that I owe you an apology. Its kind of late but tomorrow I'll call you or something. Haha I remember you were scared and didn't want to go. Then Greg threatened you with something I can't remember. hmmm.. well on behalf of Greg I would like to apologize for getting you mixed up in this. But why did this come up now?
I try not to hate people..maybe not very hard but I try.
I really don't want to go back to this school. I really don't have anyone anymore. How did it turn out like this? I never really had that many friends. Even in elementary school in Korea. everyone backstabbed me. after I came here it was even harder to make friends. couldn't speak the language. different culture and ideas..no sense of respect. Now I see every friendship I had eventually broke apart. I really wonder how I turned out like this. Bad relationships with my immediate family. No relationships with my dad's side at all. haha why am I like this today? ehhh events from today has put me in a very pensive mood.
once i clear my head I'll update again. until then good luck trying to contact me. unless i call you first.
peace
Chandler Yen..don't worry about it. You didn't even do much. It was mostly me and Greg. I don't understand why you were there with us. And I feel that I owe you an apology. Its kind of late but tomorrow I'll call you or something. Haha I remember you were scared and didn't want to go. Then Greg threatened you with something I can't remember. hmmm.. well on behalf of Greg I would like to apologize for getting you mixed up in this. But why did this come up now?
I try not to hate people..maybe not very hard but I try.
I really don't want to go back to this school. I really don't have anyone anymore. How did it turn out like this? I never really had that many friends. Even in elementary school in Korea. everyone backstabbed me. after I came here it was even harder to make friends. couldn't speak the language. different culture and ideas..no sense of respect. Now I see every friendship I had eventually broke apart. I really wonder how I turned out like this. Bad relationships with my immediate family. No relationships with my dad's side at all. haha why am I like this today? ehhh events from today has put me in a very pensive mood.
once i clear my head I'll update again. until then good luck trying to contact me. unless i call you first.
peace
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