A trip down a rabbit hole. Falling evermore into a deep abyss not knowing where it ends or where one will end up. All one can do is prepare for the crash landing.
Jesus works in amazing ways. Thank you so much for today and helping me through the day. Thank you.
I'm sick and tired of this.
I hate make up work.
Campout..kind of ehhh..about it right now.
1. You're so gay. You never explain anything to me.
2. ...I have nothing to say to you. I just though of you that's all.
3. I'm glad we got to talk again. Thanks for always cheering me up.
4. Thanks brah
5. I miss you. Come back to California.. This summer fo sho. And college together.
Peace.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Return
Got back from tour yesterday. One of the bet experiences of my life. Got closer with people and created good memories. Room 337 FTW. we are fucking legends. I'll update about it later...too tired right now. I've been so tired all day. My brain shut down after history. Make up work is killing me.. Research paper, 4 math assignments, two tests..some paragraph stuff for history..literature stuff. Bleh. Today was just gay.. It's so sad because I don't really have any friends outside pro musica... I just realized that. And that I'm not that close with anyone besides a few. But I really cherish those few people. They've just been good to me and I try my best to be good to them.. Just depressing to think about it now. Peeps I missed over tour: ehhhh none really... Hannah and Greg I guess.. But probably just Hannah because she's family. Actually I think I'll just start writing about tour. I'm tired and this will help me go to sleep.
Tuesday: after school went home to change my car battery then peaced out to my concert then to matt's house. Stayed there till 3 then went to school.
Wednesday: arrived in Dallas! Around 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Went to the hotel and just crashed. So tired. Overslept and almost missed Cici's Pizza. Ordered pizza hut for some wings. Went back to hotel and slept :)
Thursday: hmmm concert at Southwestern Adventist University. Performed ok. I was starting to lose my voice and was pretty sick that day. Took some dayquil and began to feel better. Came back to the hotel. Everyone left for the mall and stuff me and Justin stayed and just chilled. Sat in the hotel lobby playing guitar. Texted Michelle to come join us. Then the three of us just chilled. Michelle left to go eat or something can't remember to cici's again which I didn't even like the first time. Ordered pizza hut again. Ate. Worked out. We all showered then went to sleep. Knippy came in for room check and we were all shirtless in one bed with the blankets covering our legs. Good stuff.
Friday: hah this day..most memorable day of tour. Woke up to an angry Roo. Telling us that we were late and that knippy told us to pack our bags because we were going to be sent home. We were supposed to leave for the venue at 7:15. We woke up at 7:30. Overslept by 15 minutes. We all put on our clothes and rushed down in five minutes to find that they had already left. Went back to our rooms and watched TV the whole time. Went and talked to Knippy when they came back. Didn't send us home but were to be confined to the hotel for the rest of the trip. Only allowed to leave for concerts. He allowed us to leave for one hour to grab lunch and tha was it. We had already ordered pizza so we went to 711 to stock up on food for the rest of the trip. Spent $45. Came back and just chilled until our next concert only to find out that it had been canceled because the church didn't know we were coming lol. Went to the best Mexican restaurant ever. Joe T. Garcia's I think it was called. Bomb ass food. Sang in the parking lot. Went back to the hotel. Found out that there was a prostitute at the hotel and that someone was watching the porn awards. Thank you Michelle. Hah. It was fun talking to you on the phone though. Uhh went to sleep.
Saturday: We were the first ones up the next day and ready. We were down in the lobby a good half hour before the concert. We left for the church. Practiced in this tiny room. Chilled with michelle. Then we sang. And oh god we sounded really good. This was the pro musica sound that I knew. We actually sounded the best I've ever heard pro musica ever. Afterwards we had potluck. The food was pretty good. Made friends with two new cool kids: Rolman? And Lance. They were so cute. Went to this park to look at metal bulls...uhhhhh pointless. Went back to hotel. Can't remember what I did. Really can't. Ohhhh no I played guitar trying to learn this one song. Went to the second concert. And we sounded even better than the morning concert. I didn't even sing this concert because my voice was shot. It was cracking and sounded ugly and I was flat. Decided it'd be better not to sing. Mr. Knippy said that we could leave the hotel now. Was really happy :) to be able to go to six flags again. Came back to the hotel. Went to Waffle House for dinner with Katie, Michelle, and Shasta. Haha it was fun. Katie is really funny. I'm a Korean pop star. Her imitations are hilarious. Came back to the hotel worked out for a little. Went to my room. No one was there. Came back down. And just chilled with Michelle. Got followed around by this creepy little black kid for a little bit. Saw a drunk couple on the elevator. Really gross. Played guitar. Talked. Got raped because apparently I stole justin's mango drink. Wrote a song. Almost missed room check. This was the best day of tour. My favorite day.
Sunday: SIX FLAGS :) it was pretty fun. Fun group of people. Mad esome new acquaintances. Got closer with Daniel. Titan was a beast. I was crying. I had tears streaming out of my eyes on that ride. All the rides were pretty fun except el vibora...that was boring. Mr. Freeze was really really really fun. Oh and almost ran over a squirell on this Mine ride. Kinda scary. It was on the tracks of the rollercoaster and we were goin straight at it. The water raft was pretty fun. Got really wet though. Not as wet as Katie. She had like two buckets of water dumped on her. I was really tired by the end of the day. Running in zig zags didn't help either. Came back to hotel. Wrote little notes to each other. I made up so much stuff. I didn't even know half of the people. I only meant what I wrote only on a few people and you guys probably know who you are. Drunk people in the lobby. Funny funny. We've been drunk for five days straight.
Monday: left for the airport. Sad but good day. Bought cinnabon which Michelle completely destroyed. Picked out outfits on the plane. Kinda weird how we think so much alike. I swear you're like the girl me. You're just so much fun to talk to/just be around. It's like me but different in ways and just keeps surprising me. Played like a billion games of scramble and doodle jump. Really long plane ride but not long enough..arrived in California to smoggy yellow skies whcih I never noticed beofre. It was really gross. Was the last one to leave school. Got home like 5:15ish. Showered, ate, guitar, slept.
And today was just no bueno.
Peace everyone.
Tuesday: after school went home to change my car battery then peaced out to my concert then to matt's house. Stayed there till 3 then went to school.
Wednesday: arrived in Dallas! Around 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Went to the hotel and just crashed. So tired. Overslept and almost missed Cici's Pizza. Ordered pizza hut for some wings. Went back to hotel and slept :)
Thursday: hmmm concert at Southwestern Adventist University. Performed ok. I was starting to lose my voice and was pretty sick that day. Took some dayquil and began to feel better. Came back to the hotel. Everyone left for the mall and stuff me and Justin stayed and just chilled. Sat in the hotel lobby playing guitar. Texted Michelle to come join us. Then the three of us just chilled. Michelle left to go eat or something can't remember to cici's again which I didn't even like the first time. Ordered pizza hut again. Ate. Worked out. We all showered then went to sleep. Knippy came in for room check and we were all shirtless in one bed with the blankets covering our legs. Good stuff.
Friday: hah this day..most memorable day of tour. Woke up to an angry Roo. Telling us that we were late and that knippy told us to pack our bags because we were going to be sent home. We were supposed to leave for the venue at 7:15. We woke up at 7:30. Overslept by 15 minutes. We all put on our clothes and rushed down in five minutes to find that they had already left. Went back to our rooms and watched TV the whole time. Went and talked to Knippy when they came back. Didn't send us home but were to be confined to the hotel for the rest of the trip. Only allowed to leave for concerts. He allowed us to leave for one hour to grab lunch and tha was it. We had already ordered pizza so we went to 711 to stock up on food for the rest of the trip. Spent $45. Came back and just chilled until our next concert only to find out that it had been canceled because the church didn't know we were coming lol. Went to the best Mexican restaurant ever. Joe T. Garcia's I think it was called. Bomb ass food. Sang in the parking lot. Went back to the hotel. Found out that there was a prostitute at the hotel and that someone was watching the porn awards. Thank you Michelle. Hah. It was fun talking to you on the phone though. Uhh went to sleep.
Saturday: We were the first ones up the next day and ready. We were down in the lobby a good half hour before the concert. We left for the church. Practiced in this tiny room. Chilled with michelle. Then we sang. And oh god we sounded really good. This was the pro musica sound that I knew. We actually sounded the best I've ever heard pro musica ever. Afterwards we had potluck. The food was pretty good. Made friends with two new cool kids: Rolman? And Lance. They were so cute. Went to this park to look at metal bulls...uhhhhh pointless. Went back to hotel. Can't remember what I did. Really can't. Ohhhh no I played guitar trying to learn this one song. Went to the second concert. And we sounded even better than the morning concert. I didn't even sing this concert because my voice was shot. It was cracking and sounded ugly and I was flat. Decided it'd be better not to sing. Mr. Knippy said that we could leave the hotel now. Was really happy :) to be able to go to six flags again. Came back to the hotel. Went to Waffle House for dinner with Katie, Michelle, and Shasta. Haha it was fun. Katie is really funny. I'm a Korean pop star. Her imitations are hilarious. Came back to the hotel worked out for a little. Went to my room. No one was there. Came back down. And just chilled with Michelle. Got followed around by this creepy little black kid for a little bit. Saw a drunk couple on the elevator. Really gross. Played guitar. Talked. Got raped because apparently I stole justin's mango drink. Wrote a song. Almost missed room check. This was the best day of tour. My favorite day.
Sunday: SIX FLAGS :) it was pretty fun. Fun group of people. Mad esome new acquaintances. Got closer with Daniel. Titan was a beast. I was crying. I had tears streaming out of my eyes on that ride. All the rides were pretty fun except el vibora...that was boring. Mr. Freeze was really really really fun. Oh and almost ran over a squirell on this Mine ride. Kinda scary. It was on the tracks of the rollercoaster and we were goin straight at it. The water raft was pretty fun. Got really wet though. Not as wet as Katie. She had like two buckets of water dumped on her. I was really tired by the end of the day. Running in zig zags didn't help either. Came back to hotel. Wrote little notes to each other. I made up so much stuff. I didn't even know half of the people. I only meant what I wrote only on a few people and you guys probably know who you are. Drunk people in the lobby. Funny funny. We've been drunk for five days straight.
Monday: left for the airport. Sad but good day. Bought cinnabon which Michelle completely destroyed. Picked out outfits on the plane. Kinda weird how we think so much alike. I swear you're like the girl me. You're just so much fun to talk to/just be around. It's like me but different in ways and just keeps surprising me. Played like a billion games of scramble and doodle jump. Really long plane ride but not long enough..arrived in California to smoggy yellow skies whcih I never noticed beofre. It was really gross. Was the last one to leave school. Got home like 5:15ish. Showered, ate, guitar, slept.
And today was just no bueno.
Peace everyone.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Time is ticking time is ticking away
Epik high. Awesome group. I seem to be very good at just sitting there and wasting time doing absolutely nothing.
Really tired. Worried about the concert tomorrow. My whole body aches. Can barely walk right now. Knees are killing me.
Ugh officers tomorrow.
First period tomorrow.
Math test tomorrow. Why do Tuesdays have to suck so bad?
Goddammit. Well
peace
Really tired. Worried about the concert tomorrow. My whole body aches. Can barely walk right now. Knees are killing me.
Ugh officers tomorrow.
First period tomorrow.
Math test tomorrow. Why do Tuesdays have to suck so bad?
Goddammit. Well
peace
Sunday, April 18, 2010
...
what the duck...
God I don't know what you're thinking but whatever man. I trust you and believe in you. And whichever way this thing goes I know it will be for my best. I just hope that the best for me is actually what I want. Those two are not necessarily the same. Just help me to see the right path God. And give me strength. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
God I don't know what you're thinking but whatever man. I trust you and believe in you. And whichever way this thing goes I know it will be for my best. I just hope that the best for me is actually what I want. Those two are not necessarily the same. Just help me to see the right path God. And give me strength. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
•••
Today was pretty terrible. Nothing really happened. Chapel was good though. Mmmm not good. First time in months. I can't break my record now! I just need to focus.
I don't see this happening anymore but whatever. I'm still going to try and give it my all.
I don't see this happening anymore but whatever. I'm still going to try and give it my all.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
flllaaaaakkee
Ditched chapel today. It was fun! You missed out. I mean seriously I heard today's chapel was terrible..should have come with.
Ditched beliefs today. It was fun too!
Ditched drill today. Now that is fun.
mmmm don't really know what happened but I'm worried about you man. I hope everything works out.
Annnnnddd you can stop pretending to be mad because you know that you wished you had ditched with me instead lol. And you're just bummed out. :)
Happy birthday to Greg, Candice, and Nathan! I think that's all..
UCR people are queer. Hot chicks is still pretty good. Didn't eat dinner today. Worked out. Finally starting to get my lower abs.
Today was a good day :)
peace
Ditched beliefs today. It was fun too!
Ditched drill today. Now that is fun.
mmmm don't really know what happened but I'm worried about you man. I hope everything works out.
Annnnnddd you can stop pretending to be mad because you know that you wished you had ditched with me instead lol. And you're just bummed out. :)
Happy birthday to Greg, Candice, and Nathan! I think that's all..
UCR people are queer. Hot chicks is still pretty good. Didn't eat dinner today. Worked out. Finally starting to get my lower abs.
Today was a good day :)
peace
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Hmmm
Ehh Tuesdays..
Peaced out in orchestra. Tired of seeing this shit. Literally sick and tired of people not giving a fuck, not committing, or working hard. And lacking talent in general. I hate to be grouped wit people like that.
Threshold was good.
Justin dude..I feel you man. You're like the Indian me lol.
Thanks matt. I really appreciate it.
Oh god you're just...hmmm..we'll leave it at that.
Kind of tired of life summer please come faster.
I'm seriously reconsidering right now. I've made a decision. Whether it be good or bad I'll just have to deal with the consequences and learn from it. What. About. You? Hmmmm?
I really cant wait for summer, tour, campout. Gonna be fun shit.
Peace
Peaced out in orchestra. Tired of seeing this shit. Literally sick and tired of people not giving a fuck, not committing, or working hard. And lacking talent in general. I hate to be grouped wit people like that.
Threshold was good.
Justin dude..I feel you man. You're like the Indian me lol.
Thanks matt. I really appreciate it.
Oh god you're just...hmmm..we'll leave it at that.
Kind of tired of life summer please come faster.
I'm seriously reconsidering right now. I've made a decision. Whether it be good or bad I'll just have to deal with the consequences and learn from it. What. About. You? Hmmmm?
I really cant wait for summer, tour, campout. Gonna be fun shit.
Peace
Monday, April 12, 2010
Love is an excuse to get hurt.
Deep shit. Gotta love Bright Eyes. Very very very glad banquet is over. :) and I love all you seniors. I'm going to miss all of you very much. And Jaime thank you for your words of encouragement even though we don't know each other very well. and all those that helped. ESPECIALLY NICK DELEON. Thank you so much. You have no idea how grateful I am for you. You knew I couldn't do everything and you were there for me and I was there for you. Thank you so much.
So tired right now. Going to Barnes and Noble in a bit.
Just go with the flow.
Now I'm gonna do whatever I feel like. And that's going to Barnes and Noble to buy a book and study :)
I actually really want to study. Because it's fun. Gets my mind off of things. Just me and the book and the information.
Pro Musica tour next week! pretty excited.
Thank you for being a good friend dude. I appreciate it. Calling you up to just go to Barnes and Noble with me on a random school night. lol you're the best.
I'm not sure. I hope I'm not.
high five me.
Peace.
So tired right now. Going to Barnes and Noble in a bit.
Just go with the flow.
Now I'm gonna do whatever I feel like. And that's going to Barnes and Noble to buy a book and study :)
I actually really want to study. Because it's fun. Gets my mind off of things. Just me and the book and the information.
Pro Musica tour next week! pretty excited.
Thank you for being a good friend dude. I appreciate it. Calling you up to just go to Barnes and Noble with me on a random school night. lol you're the best.
I'm not sure. I hope I'm not.
high five me.
Peace.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The longest day
Today felt like the longest day ever. Half day :) got ice cream after school with Shasta, victor, and my brother. Went home then back to school for quartet practice. Then went to officers. Free pizza! Played monkey snow fight with Michelle and lost. Debtaed on what to do with the room. Went to Parent teacher conference. Talked with knippy. I guess he doesn't hate me too much after all! 50-yard dash rematch..lost again. Found Chandler. Tried to think of stuff for the final. Talked with mymy for a bit. Then picked ip Matt and off to inland, Ontario, vg, and barnes and noble which was epic fail. Good part: it was fun and I ate sushi. Started to write a song. Can't think of anything for it right now.
1. What would you do in my place?
2. hmmmm...
3. Ugh don't lie to me..I can't believe that you lied. You better show up tomorrow
4. Please learn to be responsible and to keep a commitment.
5. Ehhh thank you.
1. What would you do in my place?
2. hmmmm...
3. Ugh don't lie to me..I can't believe that you lied. You better show up tomorrow
4. Please learn to be responsible and to keep a commitment.
5. Ehhh thank you.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
New Post
Not really sure what to write about. I just had a ridiculous amount of caffeine today. Was going crazy in lit. Was crazy all morning. Got a 100% on my chem test that I did absolutely no studying for. Pretty happy. Very lucky too.
Uhhh I seriously don't know what to think. What would you do?
String quartet was a failure today..hopefully it's better tomorrow.
Banquet on Sunday.
Tour in a couple weeks. Pretty excited!
Hmmm...I really don't know.
Finally served detrtion today.
Why?
But would you risk the broken bones? Just to call this place home. This could be home..
Uhhh I seriously don't know what to think. What would you do?
String quartet was a failure today..hopefully it's better tomorrow.
Banquet on Sunday.
Tour in a couple weeks. Pretty excited!
Hmmm...I really don't know.
Finally served detrtion today.
Why?
But would you risk the broken bones? Just to call this place home. This could be home..
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Maybe I'm losing my own mind
You know that your are the only one I'd promise the stars..you are.
That song is way too catchy and good.
Don't know what's going on in my life anymore. Don't know who to listen to. Don't know who to talk to. Don't know where to go. Don't know what to do. Eveything's a big mess but I know that as long as I keep walking I'll find an escape from this dark cave. And I think I see the end of the tunnel.
I'm so tired right now I'm crying. Not like crying but my eyes are really teary because they are so tired.
Dr. Benson...the iPad is cool but not cool enough for 50 minutes of my life listening to you talk about it when you could have graded my test. But I still love you. You're one of the best teachers i've ever had.
Zabala you're one sneaky kid. We need to talk.
And what to do with you? I really don't know. Well whatever. We'll see what happens.
I really think you should stop being so independent then blaming it on others. When you take everything on yourself and don't share much of it the rest can't do much. You need to learn to be a leader and lead people. I mean I don't even know what you're tying to do. You don't tell me everything. It will make your life so much easier, trust me.. I hate seeing you like this.
Not really sure what I want anymore. I feel like I'm losing control but I blame that to my lack of sleep generally for the past three years. I just need to sleep lol.
That song is way too catchy and good.
Don't know what's going on in my life anymore. Don't know who to listen to. Don't know who to talk to. Don't know where to go. Don't know what to do. Eveything's a big mess but I know that as long as I keep walking I'll find an escape from this dark cave. And I think I see the end of the tunnel.
I'm so tired right now I'm crying. Not like crying but my eyes are really teary because they are so tired.
Dr. Benson...the iPad is cool but not cool enough for 50 minutes of my life listening to you talk about it when you could have graded my test. But I still love you. You're one of the best teachers i've ever had.
Zabala you're one sneaky kid. We need to talk.
And what to do with you? I really don't know. Well whatever. We'll see what happens.
I really think you should stop being so independent then blaming it on others. When you take everything on yourself and don't share much of it the rest can't do much. You need to learn to be a leader and lead people. I mean I don't even know what you're tying to do. You don't tell me everything. It will make your life so much easier, trust me.. I hate seeing you like this.
Not really sure what I want anymore. I feel like I'm losing control but I blame that to my lack of sleep generally for the past three years. I just need to sleep lol.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Hello hello hello
Can't remember when I blogged last. I think it was a few days ago. mmmm let's see..this week has just been very trying but it's been fun. Yesterday was an absolute waste of my time. Went to church, ate at Indian clay pot buffet, talked with Justin and Greg. Man Justin I need to hang out with you more man..we have so much in common. Then Greg and I argued about money for a good half hour. Drove to his house then Ben's. Chilled at Ben's house for two hours watching Disney channel. I was about to shoot myself. I just realized how much better off I am by not watching TV. there's so much garbage on it. Went to In-N-Out, left Omar in my car and went to Sam's Club. Came back Omar peaced out lol. Awwww...poor Omar QQ. Mmmmm went to Boba. Met up with Max. Got a text reply 8 hours after I sent it. Rented the hangover then proceeded to Ben's house once again. Got kicked out. I went to Nick's. Came home watched gladiator for a bit. Yeaahhhh yesterday was very wasteful.
Today woke up at 8:00 to go to David's house for the research paper. Then went to school for officers. Ate like 10 servings of almonds lol. Lydia they are actually really filling :) mmmm then went to drill. Played tether ball with Michelle while waiting for more peeps to come. Won once.. And accidentally hit her in the face roflcopter. Drill practice itself was pretty good. Pulled off an amazing plan with Chandler and Ferrenstein :) but Karma is a bitch and I almsot lost my car too thanks to an aggressive young woman who stole my keys out of my pockets. Went to Boba again but got ditched :( saw Katie Dailey and Jordan Rincon. Went to Nates house to attempt to study chem but ended up talking to Hannah about my problems. Came home fixed myself some dinner and currently debating whether to study or not lol. I'm sooooo tired from this whole week..next week is going to be worse. But I know it will all be worth it in the end. And for the joy ofthe seniors and the feeling of success I keep working.
1. Thanks so much for today. It meant a lot to me.
2. Annnddd uhh you're full of shit dude lol. seriously man gdlm. And I'll be borrowing god of war 3 when youre done :)
3. Don't stress so much man..we're all in this together.
4. You man are ...
5. lol we're only mean to you because we love you and want to toughen you up. You're such a baby sometimes
Today woke up at 8:00 to go to David's house for the research paper. Then went to school for officers. Ate like 10 servings of almonds lol. Lydia they are actually really filling :) mmmm then went to drill. Played tether ball with Michelle while waiting for more peeps to come. Won once.. And accidentally hit her in the face roflcopter. Drill practice itself was pretty good. Pulled off an amazing plan with Chandler and Ferrenstein :) but Karma is a bitch and I almsot lost my car too thanks to an aggressive young woman who stole my keys out of my pockets. Went to Boba again but got ditched :( saw Katie Dailey and Jordan Rincon. Went to Nates house to attempt to study chem but ended up talking to Hannah about my problems. Came home fixed myself some dinner and currently debating whether to study or not lol. I'm sooooo tired from this whole week..next week is going to be worse. But I know it will all be worth it in the end. And for the joy ofthe seniors and the feeling of success I keep working.
1. Thanks so much for today. It meant a lot to me.
2. Annnddd uhh you're full of shit dude lol. seriously man gdlm. And I'll be borrowing god of war 3 when youre done :)
3. Don't stress so much man..we're all in this together.
4. You man are ...
5. lol we're only mean to you because we love you and want to toughen you up. You're such a baby sometimes
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