Omg

I need a timeout. So many things happening at once.

Banquet and that whole mess.
School obviously. Math project especially. Pro Musica payments. Too many detentions.
Planning ice skating
announcement
orchestra violin lessons
talent show
guitar
rock climbing
friends
bone marrow drives
6 or 7 summer program applications
take care of my brother and the house
cook
drill
my job
study for SAT/SAT II

I have to do all that in one day everyday almost every single day. I'm tired. And there's more I'm not gonna bother to list because they are too personal. Ugh I need clones of myself. I miss freshmen year. No actually I miss jr high. Those two years were the best. Especially after Nick came back from japan at the end of seventh grade. So many good memories. I'm being so retrospective..regretting my life. Want to start over. But that's foolish. I just need to move on look forward and keep walking this path. If I look back I'll be passed up by others. I've just realized that my brother and I are polar opposites. No wonder we don't get along. Same with my dad but I knew that for a while. I hate my house. How can I live with two people so different from me, that don't really like my personality. Why would I want to be home? Why would I want a family? Why does all that matter? What are these ties that bind me and hold me back. What is this concept of family that I just can't grasp?

1. You changed so much this year. You're totally different. What happened? I miss you.

2. You're so annoying but not. So weird man lol

3. Ice cream!! :) next time

4. Who are you? Talk shit about me or my friends again and I will fucking kill you or at least break your legs and leave you in a body bag. Learn respect. That's a concept they don't teach here in America.

5. Omg you annoy the crap out of me. The way you look, dress, talk, walk, your voice everything. If I catch you forreal one more time...

It's all a lie. Don't believe them. Think on your own. Make your own world. Shape it the way you want. Take control. The only tool you need is your mind. Don't conform to society. Rebel. Society is corrupt. Christianity is a joke now. Take it seriously. It's not about going to church or paying tithe or listening to a sermon or preaching. It's about sharing the love of Jesus to those who don't know or care. Jesus came to heal the sick. We should continue his mission. So stop being FUCKING HYPOCRITES AND DO SOMETHING. I fucking hate the Adventist church. Filled with hypocrites. I have atheist friends who are more loving, caring, and accepting. And the people of the church call themselves Christians. How does that make us all look? In no way am I saying I'm perfect. I'm not referring to a single person but a group as a whole. And Christian people please study and learnthe theory of evolution before bashing on it and how improbable it is. What most Christians teach as evolution is not Darwinian. It's some crap they made up derived from Darwinian theory. Evolution is legit and very probable. But I believe in creation. I think that the origin of life is a combination of the two. An extreme is rarely the answer in situtuations like this. God damn. So much stuff in my mind right now I just need a place to put it.

Peace everyone.