Kingdom Hearts

Oh man I love Kingdom Hearts. It was so magical. The combination of my two favorite things in the world, Final Fantasy and Disney. it was fantastical. Makes me want to play through it again. All the side arcs and side projects were ok. Chain of Memories was really good. Birth By Sleep was really good. Haven't tried the other ones but they look really fun.

Today was a really good day. Man 4 good days in a ROW. Thank you Jesus.
Got a 97% on my Calculus test! Whoooo.
Nothing in M&F
Chapel. Nap.
Pro Musica. ehhhh...let's skip this one haha
Spanish. Usual garbage waste time, mess with senor :)
Lunch, Mcgangbang and SWEET tea.
Econ = Foosball time. I told you I was really good. Didn't believe me.
More SWEET tea after econ.
Drill. Eh semi productive I guess.

Idk today was just really good.

On a major sugar crash right now though.

But whatever.

Sleeping it off.

I like 2011 already.

Doesn't feel like a new year but I like it.

Laters gee

Peace.

Sunday Morning Rain Is Falling

I think it was last Sunday when I posted Sunday Morning Rain is NOT falling..

haha clever clever..

If I remember that was a depressing one.. lol

oh mood swings. fuck you.

Today was a good day.

Man three good days in a row. This is a good streak!

Woke up. Got an oil change for my car..Wal Mart takes forever to do it.. I swear I walked around the store like 50 times. Ended up just playing video games at the well video game center area whatever. After like an hour they finally called me.. Honestly it only takes like 10 or 15 minutes at the most.

Came home. Went to Thresh.
Bomb session. I missed working on problems like this. Getting shut down constantly. Only making me want to get back and try it again, maybe a different beta. Constantly challenging me. The recent problems have been really boring. Most of them aren't that good.

Worked out. Ran a mile. Ordered delivery pizza to the gym. Played foosball.

idk today was just really good. And yesterday. Yesterday was a lot of fun.. Fun is just a matter of perspective.

Portos next friday to pick up justin and ed.
Snowboarding on Saturday.
Sunday = Sleep.

Laters gee

peace.

Concert

Was pretty good..
A lot better than what I expected.
Sermon was an hour long.. I thought I was gonna die up there.
I had to move or something! omg.
Food was really good. Filipino potlucks are so bomb..
Went to Porto's after with Michelle and Erick.
Erick treated us. haha. bomb stuff.
mmmm.
Dropped them off, picked up tofu. Went home, changed, bible camp reunion.
It was pretty fun.
Speaker was really good.
I was about to cry at one point.
Today it really felt as though God was trying to speak to me.
I really felt it..
Thank you Jesus for answering my prayers today.
I'm starting to get addicted to this feeling.
Hopefully a new change for the better.
Myung Ga afterwards.
Food was bleh.
Saw Jeremy.
Today was an interesting day. A really good day actually.
Had a lot fun.
Tomorrow I sleep..

Laters Gee.
Peace.

Pro Musica

hmmm first concert tomorrow..
I don't know half the songs.
I hope it goes over well.
We don't sound that great right now.
I'm kinda wishing I didn't join.
Whatever.
Gotta live with it.
Make the best of it.
I'll make it fun.

Laters gee

Peace.

trippin

Don't worry brah.. Everything will work out.
Just don't fuck up like I did.
I'm here for you.

Today was alright I guess..

Ms. Taylor seriously needs to stop bitching.

Damn.

I'll just put the math book away. geez.

shoot.

I hate that class so much.

Seriously cut down today.
I know that I can do it.
But do I want to.
That is the question.
I know I can.
But.
No.
I will.
And I have to.
Promises aren't meant to be broken.
Right?

Laters gee

Peace.

GO

Train hard for two weeks.
No more tea forever.
I'm turning this thing around.
Getting it back on track.
Let's do this.
I don't need to smoke.
Today was a good day.
Come on.
I can do this.
I will do this.
For myself.
And everyone else who wants me to stop.
Michelle
Ashton
Greg
Nat
Shasta
Tofu
Tony
Brandon
Everyone.

Ready

Set

Go!

Laters Gee

Peace.

Stop

i really need to stop.

Good session today at Thresh.

Was really inspired by Jo, Joel, Brandon, and some other guy I didn't know.
Awesome climbers. All of them are crazy strong.

Train
Train
Train
Train
Train.

My schedule for two weeks.

Put climbing on hold.

I'm just gonna get stronger and more ripped.

I need to be strong.

Physically
Mentally
Spiritually



Drill today was sort of successful I guess. Two moves haha. One of them no one could do.. I'm really regretting one of my choices. I really am. Why did we choose to do that? When I think back, it doesn't make any sense at all haha, Well, we're just going to have to deal with it. We still need one more person. But from the looks of it. Two more. I really want to but it would be messed up. But for the greater good right? To be honest. We're no where near the level we should be to get first place. I'd say second if we're lucky. Probably third. We really need to push it.


Tired.

Looking forward to tomorrow surprisingly.

Used to hate Tuesdays for the longest time.

But now I guess they're alright.

Laters gee

Peace

January 23, 2011

Sunday.
Morning.
Rain.
Is.
Not.
Falling.

My life has been really dull lately.
I miss climbing.
I miss a lot of things.
A lot of things have been missing.
In my life.
School.
Family.
God.
Friends.
I miss a lot of people.
People I used to be really close with.
Now I either don't see them at all
Or rarely see them.
I just feel like there's a piece missing.
In my life.
I can't put a finger on it.
I can't imagine what it is.
But I know something is missing.
In my life.
Is it a person?
Is it a thing?
I really don't know.
I've been filling that hole.
With tea.
It helps at the moment.
But once I'm done.
I know its something else.
And I regret my decision.
All that hole has been filled with so far.
Is regret.
Regret is the worst feeling.
The feeling that you could have done something more.
The feeling that you could have done it different.
The feeling that things could be different.
If I just did a little more.
If I just thought a little harder.
If I just didn't give up.
The thought that you put yourself.
In your position.
With no one else to blame but yourself.
Knowing things could have been different.
Maybe even better.
Is the worst feeling in the world.
Regret is the worst feeling.
I just want to make things better.
Let's just sleep this one off.

Chandler Yen: I don't know if you still read my blogs, but I just want to say I'm really happy for you. And now you shouldn't need a blogger. Because you don't need a blank page on a computer screen to put your words into. You have SOMEONE. A person. That will actually listen to you. Sympathize with you. Understand you. Laugh with you. Someone. To share all those memories and events. And I'm really happy for you. And I hope that you won't have to use this again. Because keeping things inside you is not good for you.

Played basketball for a bit lol. Good shit. It was fun. I guess I don't really hate basketball.
I just wished I had shoes instead of slippers. Danny I'm gonna miss you next semester because we won't have cooking anymore lol. Man. Our kitchen was so bomb..

Wish the colleges would send out their decisions already. I want to know where I'm going to be spending my next four years. And my biggest four years.

Laters gee.

Peace.

Scream!

Getting back into screamo again.

Haha I love it.

idk why. But its very..soothing. Helps me feel less angry, stressed, nervous, sad, everything. Just the music takes it away.

I would find a way without you.

Wednesday...Monday?

Feels like a Monday.
Been pretty sick for a while. Starting to get better slowly.

Really tired.
Headache.
No hw.
Music..
Chilling
Guitar.
Candy.
Awesome.

And you were worried you had no one. lol you have more friends than I do.

Laters gee.
Peace.

I give up..

Ugh school is so much work.. I give up... I just really don't care anymore. I want to enjoy life, not crawl through it.

Climb, chill, party, guitar, yes please.. its hard to go back to the school life after doing that for what seems forever..

ugh.. just one more day.. one weekend to cool down..

and the last stretch begins.

Pro musica here i come!

Fucked up my elbow today.. I was told I wouldn't be able to climb for 4-6 weeks.. most depressing ever. Hopefully it heals fast. Like really really really fast..

Fuck college english.. Only if it wasn't 0 period it wouldn't be that bad..

Feeling really tired right now.. I think I'll review for physics tomorrow morning..

Fuck it. I'll wing it. Lord help me.

I don't deserve it but please..

Amen.

I want to be really good at climbing.. Like really good.

Laters gee.

Peace

mmmm...

Cookies! haha sharde. That joke was the shit. Don't worry I have more stupid jokes.

Mcgangbang for lunch and sweet tea. mmm..

Missed drill practice.. who knew how long it would take to go from my house to school?

Well honestly, I went home, ate, changed and then left. haha. wasn't trying to miss it just happened ya know?

Threshold after. Cake and tea. mmmm.. so good :)

I'm so glad I got close with tofu and aaron..

Our birthdays are all one month apart and we're all in 92.

Aaron: Sept. 24
Me: Oct. 27
Tofu: Nov. 29

scary

We all have the same blood type too..

even more freaky

we all got sick at the same time on the same day with the same symptoms while we never saw each other for over a week...

just plain out weird.

hmm...

Good workout.

Why is it so hard to stop smoking? seriously.. like why?
I had reasons before. and told myself that I had no more reasons
to do it. But I continue to do it regardless. why? I
really need to stop.. like forreal we all need to try and quit.
Because it is like impossible by yourself..
Probably because I did so much over break..
Not good.
Average of like 6 a day..
Went through like 6 or 7 packs in two weeks..
crazy.
and that's like 60 bucks..
damn.
I freaking need to stop..
I don't even want to smoke.
My body just needs the nicotine.. in the form of a cigarette..

Making promises used to work but now not anymore. No matter how hard I try promises aren't enough..idk what's gonna get me to stop but whatever it is i'm ready for it.

ugghhh I feel like I've lost so many friends.

way too many.

hmmm looking forward to tomorrow.

Every new day is a chance to make something new happen..

wow that was stupid lol.

laters gee

peace

Days like this

Makes me want to just run away.

Woke up. Hurried to do some work in San Timoteo Canyon to clear mud from houses.
It was pretty fun I guess. Was there for about an hour and then went home to wash up. Headed out to Threshold a bit later. Met up with people and went to Asahi Sushi. All you can eat! Freaking bomb ass food. Ate so much.

Hit up Thresh after. Then slack lining at the park for about an hour.

Played some ping pong for a few hours. Good shit. Me and Greg were doing so good.

Came home usual bullshit from dad.

Now I'm grounded. blah blah blah.. Like I care.. I really don't..

If you wonder why I'm like this, take time to consider what you've done for me and how I grew up. I grew up by myself, the only people I had were my friends from school. You never talked to me. All you did was make me do shit I didn't want to. Not let me do shit I wanted to. And just bought me stuff. I barely ever saw you. Home alone most of the time. Left at school with friends most of the time. All we did was live in the same house. The relationship we have can hardly be called a father-son relationship. I seriously cannot stand you. We're nothing alike.

I'm your consequence for not doing shit to me. Never doing anything for me, only stuff that you thought I would like. You don't really know me at all. You never took the time when you had the chance. So why should I bother ever trying to understand you? Why should I, when you didn't? You've told me to be the bigger person, but this time I'm not.

So I hope you continue to have a miserable life. And if I have to suffer too, then so be it. As long as I know it makes you suffer, I can take all the suffering and pain I need to.

Peace.

Wasted

today was the most boring day ever.
When I leave the house to try and do something to have fun
and come home not having done anything is the worst..
Started out ok. and just got worse and worse and worse as the sun went down.
Dodgeball was lame
Party was lame
My time was just wasted.

shoot..

laters gee..

peace

My Home

Super stoked for climbing club. I hope it turns out great and a lot of people sign up. Have to make a really inspirational video. Gotta show them the best.


This week is gonna go by fast I hope.

Tofu hurry up and come back..

We need to cover this:




This:



lol joke

But this one for sure:

I would post another video but they're all kinda, gay. Like homosexual gay. haha. and none of them are that good quality.


Today sucked balls.

Sick skipped school

Went to thresh.

Came home

Black ops

wasted time on computer.


Hopefully tomorrow is a lot better.

Peace.

I need to stop

My fingers freaking hurt like mad..I should probably take a break.

Just working out for now I guess. Can't lose my strength or else I'll be fucked.

I'm hoping Nick agrees to help with the climbing video.. It's gonna be dope if he does. He and I just work so well together. We both think similarly in a way but have different approaches to things.. When we combine them with his talent, bam.

Today sucked.

Yeah.

Peace.

Five more months

Five more months until school is done

Four more months until drill competition

Three more months until word back from Brown, NYU, and Syracuse

Two more months until word back from UCSD, UCLA, UCI, UCR, UCB, UCSB

One more month until financial aid forms are due

Just four more checkpoints until school is done.

Four more checkpoints until I'm out of here

Five more months until I will never see almost all these people again

Five more months of high school bliss

Five more months of being a kid

Five more months of high school hell

Five more months of fake people

Well not just five, more like 70 more years.

Five more months of waiting

for what I've been waiting for four years

And it'll be all over.

Four fast years.

I'll miss some,

I'll be glad to be rid of some.

But I'll miss everything.

Time to make the most of what I have left.

Just like the little bit of gas left in your tank

When that meter dips below the last line

You're waiting for that light to come on

So you can go fill up and see the meter go up again

But secretly you don't

You want to see how far you can push it

How much money you can save

How much you can squeeze out of the last little bit

Just five more months.

Free verse. Entitled five more months. I own all rights to this poem.

I wish I could freestyle
I wish I could be a poet
I wish to be so many things
But I never stop to look at what I am
Is that selfish?
Is that wrong?
Is that greedy?
Is that humble?
Is that ambitious?
I just want more.
But I am what I am


man..
I wish I felt tired so I could plop on my bed and fall asleep..
but I'm not tired at all. fuck.
well I'll just leave it at this.
Laters geee

Peace.

New Years 2011

Resolutions from last year:

1. Find what I truly want in life and decide whether it is practical or not. (X)

2. Be a nicer and safer driver and make less illegal moves and observe the speed limit. (X)

3. Be able to climb V8 and up

4. Focus in school

5. Find Jesus.

6. Keep my anniversary. Michelle you know what I'm talking about. What was it like 10/19 or somethig like that?

7. Be able to take off my shirt so that I can focus when I climb those 8's. (X)

8. Eat and stay healthy. (X)

9. Not be a douchebag

10. Make my family proud.

hmmmm kept 4? 40%.. Not bad not bad. At least I kept some right? haha.
Well let's make 11 this year.

1. Stop drinking tea

2. Hit a V10

3. Get a girlfriend

4. Get really ripped and strong

5. Be a good role model for my brother and all the little climbers at Thresh

6. Hopefully get into a college that I wanted to

7. Find a girlfriend..hmm oh wait. repeat.

8. idk I guess that's about it.

only 6 I guess.

2010, you were a wild year. Started off bomb, hit a massive slump, and ended on an okay note. 2011 I hope you will treat me better.

Peace.