January 23, 2011

Sunday.
Morning.
Rain.
Is.
Not.
Falling.

My life has been really dull lately.
I miss climbing.
I miss a lot of things.
A lot of things have been missing.
In my life.
School.
Family.
God.
Friends.
I miss a lot of people.
People I used to be really close with.
Now I either don't see them at all
Or rarely see them.
I just feel like there's a piece missing.
In my life.
I can't put a finger on it.
I can't imagine what it is.
But I know something is missing.
In my life.
Is it a person?
Is it a thing?
I really don't know.
I've been filling that hole.
With tea.
It helps at the moment.
But once I'm done.
I know its something else.
And I regret my decision.
All that hole has been filled with so far.
Is regret.
Regret is the worst feeling.
The feeling that you could have done something more.
The feeling that you could have done it different.
The feeling that things could be different.
If I just did a little more.
If I just thought a little harder.
If I just didn't give up.
The thought that you put yourself.
In your position.
With no one else to blame but yourself.
Knowing things could have been different.
Maybe even better.
Is the worst feeling in the world.
Regret is the worst feeling.
I just want to make things better.
Let's just sleep this one off.

Chandler Yen: I don't know if you still read my blogs, but I just want to say I'm really happy for you. And now you shouldn't need a blogger. Because you don't need a blank page on a computer screen to put your words into. You have SOMEONE. A person. That will actually listen to you. Sympathize with you. Understand you. Laugh with you. Someone. To share all those memories and events. And I'm really happy for you. And I hope that you won't have to use this again. Because keeping things inside you is not good for you.

Played basketball for a bit lol. Good shit. It was fun. I guess I don't really hate basketball.
I just wished I had shoes instead of slippers. Danny I'm gonna miss you next semester because we won't have cooking anymore lol. Man. Our kitchen was so bomb..

Wish the colleges would send out their decisions already. I want to know where I'm going to be spending my next four years. And my biggest four years.

Laters gee.

Peace.