To the Sea

go go go.

Getting pretty excited about the guitar covers..need to practice and practice.

Violin recital next Sunday. A little nervous. I have a lot of work to do.

lol Wedding Dress cover. oh man. hilarious. Soon. Soon.

Without summer school life's been pretty chill.
Listen to music, play guitar, play violin, cook, read, climb, bike, swim, whenever I want. nice nice..

Went to Market Night today. for like five minutes. left. Jam session at best buy. story of my life. Seriously when you get bored, hit up best buy. Video games, movies, cool stuff, and best of all their instrument section. Playing on super nice guitars whenever is pretty dope.

I'm pretty excited to finish off this summer and start school. It will most definitely be an interesting school year. Need to make some friends first though haha. oh man..havasu. who am I going to stay with? Nothing can match room 337. Ever. Hopefully we'll have a lot of gay fun...errr I mean.. gay as in happy.

Nathaniel tomorrow..orr I guess today. Climbing, jam session, mall, plus whatever else we think of. sweet.. I love random days. Its the most fun.

Just go with the flow. Do what feels right.

I'm itching for another karaoke run. Who's down? Plush!!! :)
lets freaking go..omg.

I really want to do Time is Running Out by Muse for either talent show or class night. and also somethig majorly epic. We need something super badass for class night though. Hmmm I really want to do something..

"I knew a lovely girl with such pretty pride. And every man wanted her and yeah so did I. so did I. but she up and died in a fit of vanity" Don't Know When but a Day's Gonna Come - Bright Eyes

"Yeah, I was a postcard, I was a record. I was a camera, until I went blind. Now I'm riding all over this island, looking for something to open my eyes" Train Underwater - Bright Eyes

"Life's too short to even care at all" Cough Syrup - The Jakes/Young the Giant

"I strain my eyes and try, to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites." Passenger Seat - Death Cab for Cutie

I think that's enough for today. Just some quotes that I liked or thought was deep. I think I'll do this from now on. Its kinda fun. Just keeping the music going and whatever catches my attention..hmmm aight

peace

much love

This Song

For some reason..just.

haha

how pathetic..how pathetic.

maybe later

but definitely not now..

not now.

"Color my life with the chaos of trouble..." The Boy With the Arab Strap - Belle and Sebastian

"Then take the baton, girl, you better run with it there is no point in standing in the past cause it's over and done with." If She Wants Me - Belle and Sebastian

"Everybody's trying to make us another century of fakers." Century of Fakers - Belle and Sebastian

Perfect Sonnet - Bright Eyes
I couldn't think of just a little bit to quote..the whole song is pretty deep.

Oh and Don't Know When but a Day's Gonna Come - Bright Eyes is another good song.

Most of you probably won't even like this type of music. But whatever. I like it. A little depressing..but haha I like it.

The Smiths are bomb. Thanks to (500) Days of Summer.

All those songs are pretty deep. Should definitely check out Belle and Sebastian. And as I've mentioned before, Bright Eyes. Two of some of my favorite indie artists.

1. Oh man..I had no idea you were so good. I have a lot of catching up to do lol. Climbing Beast man... HAHAHAHAH oh shit I have to thank you for giving me a good laugh

2. Mann you pull them in like nothing. Nice

3. haha you're so cute. You have no idea. also I didn't think you would remember. I guess I'm just too used to girls flaking on me.

4. I've seen you like three times? this summer? lol how sad. What happened to running/climbing/hanging out a lot? haha its ok. I didn't really believe all that. Hurry up and get back.

5. I have to thank you for telling me about Bright Eyes and Belle and Sebastian and Arcade Fire and a whole bunch of other artists.. I miss you man. Its been almost 5 years now.

peace

much love

Interesting

Today went by really fast..Don't really remember much. Woke up..Lunch..uhhh threshold. Greg and Risha came. lol had a good time. Came home. Began to download a crap load of music. I still have 500 some songs still on my computer that I have yet to put on my ipod. and downloading more tomorrow. Thank god for music.

Went over to Nick's with Nicole. chilled for a longtime haha. Went to get my car at her place. drove home in a hurry. Got my keys and phone taken away.

"If you're not gonna use your phone or pick up when I call then I guess you don't need one."
sound familiar Michelle? lol. I almost laughed in front of my dad..that wouldn't have been good.

but I got both of them back! yeahhh.

Good night everyone.

Nicole remember to take your kids to the airport so that all your parents won't get mad. get some sleep man..and rest. you'll need it.

peace

much love

(500)

Days
of
Summer.

One of my favorite movies.

I still don't understand what..hah never mind. whatever it is, it won't be the truth and will be some bullshit.

Climbing tomorrow.

I want to talk to you.. soon.

Haha am I going to be ready for my recital? ehhhh not sure. hah I need to start practicing again. Its hard to keep doing it.

Peace

much love

(500)

PEOPLE

I don't know why I titled my blog "People" I just didn't know what to call it. First word that came up in my mind. Looks like summer is just going to settle into a nice little monotony for the last few weeks. I see my daily schedule already.

7:00 wake up
7:30 go running
8:00-8:20 finish come home shower
9:00 breakfast
10:00 Study
1:00 Lunch
free time
8:00 dinner
9:00 read/relax
12:00 sleep...

sounds nice.

My Girl is pretty fun and funny. Its kind of eerie how it reminds me so much of "you" for some reason.

lol so I registered to this site that I watch my Korean dramas from and the default avatar they give you is a silhouette of a girl... Don't I feel gay.

I need to order my contacts soon but my dad keeps laying it off.. oh well. Hopefully tomorrow.

Ordered the senior pictures today, didn't realize I had such a chubby face lol. Anyone know how to burn cheek fat? I hope just running is enough. Drinking so much last summer and not doing any physical stuff this year was pretty bad for my body hah.. Good thing I changed all that now.

School is almost here. Just I think four weeks? Or is it five? Anyways its almost here. I want to grow facial hair! Feel like a man..

Oh that's right Nicole is coming here tomorrow..lol how exciting. Inception again? haha plus Speed Racer and Mulan 2. I can't believe I've been looking forward to such a small thing so much and remembered it.

I really want to do Pro Musica not..really actually never mind. well I kind of want to but ehhh not really sure.. If I have room I'll do it. I don't know how many times I've said that..feels like a lot.

Ryan Gil, you are one chill and nice guy. Thank you for that.

Peace

much love

Why?

Am I so excited?

Am I so confused?

Am I so frustrated?

Am I so happy?

Questions hopefully that will be answered relatively soon. Especially the first two.

Bought the Catcher in the Rye and Ferrenheit 451 today. Haven't been so excited to read since the Harry Potter days. I want a good story. People these days haven't been able to do so.

Really enjoying watching My Girl. It makes me wonder, if that's how "you" felt. It makes me feel so bad. I was so selfish back then. Still am. Sorry.

I'm really looking forward to next week for some reason. haha weird.

peace

much love

My Girl

I really like it. One of my favorites so far.

I need a girl - Tae Yang

Plans for tomorrow. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. nice.

FINAL

Exam today. 2 hours. that's it. Then I'm done.

Good talk last night..well we didn't finish but haha we'll continue sometime soon.

Weird dream. really weird. Had the same part repeat three times. Can't really remembee that part but I remember distinctly that it happened three times. Don't know why dreams like these always stick in my head. But I think it was important. It was about two very different but important people. I guess its what my mind is on all the time subconciously.. hah and I thought I was really done. Whatever

Well off to UCR.

wish me luck.

peace

much love

INCEPTION

One of the greatest movies ever. No spoilers here. But highly reccommend it. 9/10. Make sure you're paying attention. "Are you watching closely?" -from The Prestige

Ice cream after with Shasta. Good hanging out with her after such a long time.

Dreams..hmmm interesting

peace much love

Let's Ride

Dope day. Class went fast. Came home. Played cod for a bit then went to Threshold. Met up with Greg. Chilled. Came home and went to ride. So much fun. Going downhill is freaking exhilirating. Awesome. Indescribable. Unberievable.

Biked to Kyle's house. chilled there for about half an hour and went to Boba then went home. Riding my bike is so much fun. I love it so much. I don't need girls. I have a bike and rocks. jjkkkkk.

Going to chill with the one and only Shasta tomorrow. Pretty excited..haven't hungout with her in forever. dope. then Inception with her, Kirsten and some other people not sure who. Maybe Greg.

Reading for my History class right now. Finals on Friday. A little nervous but not really. I can bs a lot of stuff for the essay. I'm scared about citing the readings though. That's going to be a little tricky.

Why do I get the feeling that you guys are avoiding me? hmmmm..interesting.

Justin Massey your cooking looks bomb. Those roasted chicken breasts or whatever they were looked so good.

Why don't chicken breasts have nipples?

Because they're not mammals.

I can't get over how much fun riding was. I felt so free. So happy and relaxed. I love it.

peace

much love

Nick Deleon

My bro happy birthday. You've been such a huge part of my life. I can't put my gratefulness in words. Thank you for being my friend. And I wish that you had a fantastic day. I'll see if I can get out tomorrow or something.

I think I'm getting sick..stupid Mexican guy behind me in class.. this one Asian chick almost fell asleep on me in class. lol..

Drew pictures in discussion class today instead of reviewing for the final. Fantastic.

Tired. Going to sleep early. Good night!

peace

much love

Interesante

Today was pretty good. Got to class a little late. Kinda dozed off in lecture. So sleepy from staying up to write that essay. Came home. Ate lunch. Watched some TV. Took an amazing nap. Woke up ate dinner and headed out to threshold. Picked up Kirsten and Koby. It was pretty fun. Climbed pretty hard. Talked with Kirsten. Got closer with her. Pretty dope. Got closer with Koby too. lol awkward moment at the end.

freaking tired now.

Phone is going crazy. I can't unlock it sometimes and the keys are assigned to random letters. Can't text.

Peace

much love

NOSTALGIA

Just read through some old blog posts again for fun. Brings back a lot of memories. Good ones mostly. Can't really remember the stuff I was complaining about lol. Must not have been that important, it only seemed like it at that time. Currently brain-dead. Can't think of anything to write for my essay on Locke, Marx, and Machiavelli. Almost done with Locke's part though.

haha realized that you two commented on my blog a LOT. lol. Like every other post. Didn't notice that before. Probably because I didn't really check back on a lot of my posts after I posted them.

Finishing up my laundry. Looks like it's going to be a long night.

AIM me: ineedslpnao

My dog is inside. He smells. Time to give him a bath tomorrow! Yeah! and I'm gonna go swimming afterwards.

I can't wait until this summer is over. I want school to start already.

Peace

much love

II.

Feeling really really tired and sleepy. I have no idea why though. Can't fall asleep! I neex to finish these two books. I've been fighting it all day.

8:45 Heaven - Drunken Tiger. One of the best songs ever. Speaks to me.

Wish I could be going to Six Flags tomorrow. Sort of..hah. It would have been so much fun. Oh well. I have to write my essay. Hopefully it only takes a couple hours. But after that is finished I really have nothing left for summer school! Nice. This summer is going by pretty fast. 5 weeks of classes went extremely fast. Feels the older I get, faster time flows. I guess because compared to the amount of time I've spent doing something, working for something, waiting for something, a few weeks or a few months is nothing.

"your car smells like sex."

lol thanks. Time to get an air freshener

apparently everyone is leaving for vacation pretty soon.

bring me a mango. lol. Don't forget my bracelet :) You always get me stuff..I owe you so much.

Finally went to church today. For like five minutes. Got there super early. Had to go back home to find my wallet. Took like an hour to go home and back. Sat with Hannah and Candice. Saw Ivanna, again. haha we need to hang out. I think we would have fun. Went to lunch with the two beautiful Kwons. Candice treated us. Thanks! Miguel's Jr. is actually really good. And cheap too. $4 for a decent sized burrito. Freaking good deal. Talked. Just like the old days. Those were fun times. I just realized I would be the only guy most of the time. When Steven and Kevin weren't there. So innocent back then..haha how things have changed.

Change..reminds me of what you said once. People don't really change. They learn new things and act differently, but ultimately they're the same. Deep implications. deep deep convo. I really wish we talked more. Let's change that. You're so much fun to talk to.. but I actually buy what you said. It makes sense.

Really tired..just gonna rest my eyes for a bit.

My eyes are heavy with burden of seeing the incongruities of the world. My thoughts are heavy pondering on those. My heart is heavy feeling them.

haha that was corny

peace

much love

Bored

Really bored. Decided to just write random stuff on here. Have fun.

T.O.P. is really hot. No joke. I wish I looked like him. His sister is pretty too. Good genes.

I wish I had a video camera. Record all the random things that happen.

Haha I wish I was good looking. mmmm I needed more genes from my madre.

I really like my hair right now. Thinking about growing it out a little.
turn it fob.

goddamn my piercings looked sexy. I want them back.

need more clothes..and do the laundry.

you, you, you, or you? hmmmmm INTERESTing

Hannah Kwon god I missed you. where have you been.. take me with you to mammoth. Instead of Vivien.

Turn it up loud..la la la la..

You looked good. mmmmm..

Ice cream soon. fo sho..

haha you know that I don't really believe anything you say right? or take it seriously.

Why do you have be all awkward? dumbass

I want to see my PEOPLE! I miss my home.

teach me how to get girls man..they're all over you. Own up to it man. You're not being cocky.

why couldn't you be coming back.

we'll see what goes down.

I have to start my essay tomorrow. No joke. I'm kind of in trouble.

you are a pushover. I have complete control over you

people are so easy to manipulate

you are a poser. get something to back yourself up with

I'm sorry for you

MONDAY! I'm excite how bout you? we're gonna have fun.

Looks like we won't hang. I wasn't counting on it anyways. don't really care either.

get in line.

hopefully more freetime after this week! party everydays.

keep your promises. I stopped believing in your empty words years ago

haha I am so cocky. I don't show it too much hopefully. but what goes on in my head is a different story. I don't care. I like to think of myself as confident in my abilities to do anything. just gotta do the best I can each and every time

Wonder what kind of image I have. someone wanna tell me?

one I got: shady, BA, aloof.

hah I don't really agree. cept for the last one. SAT vocab word.

my cheeks are fat.

i wish my skin cleared up. fuck you dad lol.

im done

MAP THE SOUL

Good talk today with Justin. and Hannah Kwon.

Did nothing pretty much all day. Read my book for about an hour. Cooked lunch. Washed the dishes. Sat for about half an hour and then started prepping for dinner. Cooking takes so much time. Made my self Spicy Korean Style BBQ Pork..from scratch. Mmmm. I'll have to make it with chicken so that my brother will eat it.

Met up with Justin.

Ate.

Compassio.

Sat on the curb for like two hours lol. Had some deep talks. Geez why can't more people just be chill..

talked shit about people. Karma is coming! well not necessarily bad stuff but yeah whatevs.

I don't really care.

Not looking forward to school next year. at all. but whatevs..its just one more year.

I really miss a few people. Talked to one of them today. Its always fun talking to YOU. always chill.

Wish I talked to the other..ehhh not really. I'll have to ponder on this a little more. But I do miss that person.

I want you here. Hurry up. I'm curious. Aren't you?

I'm glad I didn't wear "that" shirt today. whooo would have been awkward. yup yup.

I just really wish you guys would just hook up already.
I feel bad for him. I really do.

Cut my own hair today. Scary. I think it looks pretty good.

Need to get contacts..getting tired of glasses. Need to change the pace.

Scared for what's to come. But I can't keep running from the future.
I'm turning around.
Taking responsibility.
and Making a
Commitment.
Almost there.
Just a few more months.

been listening to a lot of MC Sniper and Epik High. good stuff.

Peace

much love

HOT & STICKY

Describes today's weather lol.

It rained for like 5 seconds.
dope dope..

Saw a whole mess of people today. Nick, Devan, Matt Loh, Shasta :), Kirsten :), Nate's girl, Justin, RJ, Mark Velasquez, Chandler, Greg, Ivanna :) haven't seen you since...hmm that ome night at Stater Bros. I think. I always seem to run into you. Maybe its a sign? hahahaha. Brian too. Linda :) we never hung out because you got EDC tickets that weekend..lame, Katrina, Shasta again, Michelle, Matt Loh again. Some girl that was with them.

Went to Hawaiian Indo BBQ twice.
"Oh, you're back again?"
"hahaha uhh yeah.."
ordered spam masubi. good stuff. drove to juice it up.

lol. Stupid Justin. You said Jamba Juice so I tried going to the wrong one twice. I didn't know you meant Juice It Up. Parked in front of Rubio's. too bad they couldn't hear us. oh well.

Ate my dinner. Gave a spam masubi to an old Asian guy thay works at Juice It Up. Good samaritan. He seemed hungry.

Got in trouble..nothing new..

Whatevs. It's all good. I hate it when people make a big deal out of nothing. Like my dad does with everything. When he started saying all this stuff about my speeding ticket and havong my lisence expired I'm going to jail he made me freak out.

Because you hate these and think they're retarded I'm going to do it. I wasn't planning on it. And I'm gonna include blanks lol. Well i'm gonna have to make these up right now

1. _____ ____ ___.

2. _____ __ ______ _ _____.

3. ¡___ ___ __ _______!

4. ¿__ _______ I _______?

5. ¿_________ __ _____ _____?

lol feel special. I don't even know what those mean. aight.

Peace

much love

Intense

Today was intense. yup yup.

Took awesome notes in lecture.

Picked up Nate and headed to Threshold! Met up with Tyler. Climbed for a good three hours. Greg came. Worked out for another hour. P90X!!! Ab Ripper X! and my own custom workout. Targetting all the major muscle groups used for climbing. Trying to build strength and endurance. I feel pretty good. Cardio tomorrow. 3 mile run. Hopefully I feel better than last time lol.

I'm getting fit! Feels good. I like it. Even though I'm sore all the time, I like it. I know that I'm gonna be more fit and more healthy than before. Nice. Another goal for the summer I guess when I actually have time to take care of my body.

Time to start reading

I actually kinda like this summer. Even though I don't really see too many people, its all good. I've had some valuable me time. For myself and no one else. I'm not studying for anyone else, I'm not working out to impress anyone or for anyone, I don't do all these things for anyone else except me.

Summer's been pretty chill..music is my best friend.

Guitar..piano..violin. Practicing my range. Can hit a lot of the high notes. I can hit an A almost.. I'm afraid I'm turning into a tenor. I can't get a good tone when I sing low bass range anymore. I don't care..probably not even gonna do pro musica next year anyways.

Wedding Dress! No other! hit me up man! lets do this

I just wish summer wasn't so boring. And that I didn't have to write my essay. Oh well. Gotta get on that soon.

1. You are so mean.

2. I think you should go all out next year. Don't hold yourself back.

3. Thanks for always being there.

4. Never mind. I've decided.

5. Oh I'm sorry I blew you off today. lol. Maybe I'll talk to you tomorrow hah..

Peaaacccce

much love

Tuesdays

Even though its summer Tuesdays still seem to be the worst day of the week. Discussions is way too long. Woke up at 7 to go run. Barely finished 3 miles. Felt so tired after. came home. showered. So REFRESHING! headed out to UCR. almost ran out of gas. lunch at Hawaiian Indo BBQ. Saw Larry. came home. Tried to sleep.

bzzzzz. bzzzzzz. bzzzz. "hello?" "Jon?" "yeah what?" "Where are you?" "uhhhh I'm at home..why?" "Oh, never mind" "what?" "ok bye" "what the...you're so gay, ok bye" "bye" *click* most pontless phone call ever? I think so lol.

napped for a good two hours. woke up not feeling any better. sore everywhere.

Downloaded music.

Listening to the Rachmaninoff Piano Concertos. Good stuff.

Threshold after class tomorrow for at least two hours. Aiiggghht.

1. Haha why are you talking to me? you are not my type.. not asian, wide, short, thick, stupid, too much make up, too emotional, too much drama. lol randy..

2. Tomorrow? Yeah? hah maybe.

3. we gotta make them covers

4. you too! those guitar covers. and you still have my itrip. I need it!

5. you & you are quite possibly the most confusing people ever.

Peace.

much love.

Looking Up

To the sky without a care on my mind
As the world itself follows behind
My whim and desires
Feeding the growing fires
of my passion for life.
Living as I will with no strife

Hoping to turn back the time
To when I didn't have to wait in line
To be happy and free
And filled with joy and glee
To wake and walk this path
With no fear of pain nor wrath

Come be my guide
On this wild, unpredictable ride
Show me whats right and wrong
Give me the words and the songs
To open show my feelings and thought
To all those who have been caught

In this vicious cycle



Don't know where that came from. haha just flowed out. cute little poem. When I'm in the mood nobody gonna stop me. And that's how I feel right now. I hope that poem at least makes sense. Feel free to tell me what you think. I could use some constructive criticism.

Really making me think. I really don't know. I'm going to need soms time.

Went climbing today for the first time since with Michelle, Omar, and Greg. Felt not too good. So out of shape. Going to start running tomorrow. Get back into shape, get definition and get my legs and lungs back. I missed it.

Peace

much love

nice

Woke up late. Missed church. Headed over to Viv's house. met up with Nick, Heather, Ben, Danny, Alan and Jay and Katie, Louie and Candace. Went to crystal cove. haha it was fun. bonded with danny lol. We're definitely startin our own racing crew. It was fun at the beach. Talked with Vivien. played a prank on Heather lol. high five. Went to plush karaoke! whoooooo! first time going to a karaoke since last summer. omg I missed it so much.. haha I sound like a Korean pop star lol. I hear that too often now..its more like a joke. haha I'll practice so next time I'll sing you a song. you actually sing really good..should have been in pro musica. better than a lot of other altos...

Ate ramen..orr went to a place that served ramen. Alan and I put together our money to buy one bomb ass meal. all $4. haha had to borrow money. haha good times.

1. lol well I hope YOU had fun at Huntington. I think you did hah

2. Good hanging out with you..no matter what we do we always have a good time. thanks bro.

3. hah I miss you. I really do. I miss the old days. we've had so many good times together.

4. you should have came..sorry I didn't go to church..

5. haha you are so obvious..now I'm curious. omg..so frustrating. i can tell when you're referring to me.

PEACE

much love

Dang..

overslept for church..well heading out to the beach now :)

Justin: lol have fun!

"Hi!"
"Hey have you seen ______? I want to take pictures with her."

lol good D.

peace

COMPASSIO

Performed our song today. I thought it went ok. Except for that one part where we messed up. April is so talented! and buff and awesome. Tired. Studied a little for the SAT. Got all the questions right for three sections so far. just seven more. I'm gonna get 2400 this time. Nothing is gonna stop me. I need to read, read, read, and write and write. good thing that's all i've been doing this summer. I need to drop friends and everything else just for the next five or six months then I'll be good. God i wish i could just focus haha.

Justin we need to do our two guitar covers.

Matt wedding dress cover.

Haha i just said i needed to drop my friends and all other stuff but look at me lol. ahhhh its not as easy as I'd like it to be. My future for just six months..its a good deal no?

I'm gonna keep writing songs for fun. and poems and stuff..

Currently listening to Rocketbase by house-bee.. didn't even know I had that song. pretty sick. I think I might turn back to techno..just need to look for some good mixes. a lot of crappy songs out there..

need more alternative/pop/acoustic music..for when i just want to chill in my room with a book or something.

April and Tofu you guys are hilarious..you're all gay.

It'd be cool to be a music producer or a musician. its just too risky and not rewarding enough. But it would be so much fun.

College is on my mind all the time. This is where it all comes down to.

Happy Sabbath everyone.

Peace

much love

Right Quick

finally got together with April to make our song. It sounds pretty legit. Thank you Justin for driving me and "helping" us lol. uhh nice talk afterwards. dead tired. woke up at six this morning..bleh. same for tomorrow morning. Feel like listening to some screamo! and Muse. weird..lol aight

1. You're just too pretty!

2. I was so dumb back then. I'm sorry. Let's clear things up for good yeah? You're one of my closest friends. I hate how we're so on and off. lets go back to the way it used to be.

3. Seriously thanks. a lot. good luck with everything..

4. Fix yourself. Pick yourself up. Move on. you made the decision now live with it.

5. Some good times this year. it was fun. P.S. hah it means whatever you want it to..did you really think i meant for it to be something super deep? i like simple things. but for me it reminded me of promise the stars. and i was in a rush cuz i was late to PE.

Peaaaccee

night

much love.

Oh god..

Today was a decent day. Overslept fifteen minutes. haha familiar. left my house in a hurry. got a little impatient. turned on the "Old Crazy Asian Driving, 'Oh, is that a challenge?', Jon" to try and get to class on time. Started weaving through traffic..so far so good. I'm still pretty pro at that. hit about 75-80 then i merged on to the 215 southbound towards Riverside. Number 1 lane was clear so switched into that lane and vroom..hit 100 saw a cop so started slowing down..was at around 90-95 when he pulled up behind me.. siren goes off. fuck. exited on barton. got a speeding ticket.

ended up being 20 minutes late. missed a good portion of the most important lecture of the course. Well its not too bad..i can just review the notes talk to some people ask my TA. went to Nathaniel's house. rock band. boba. inland. fun fun fun. oh and best buy lol. played around on the drums and guitars and stuff. chill day. came home. read for an hour. practiced violin for three hours..ate dinner..about to go to sleep. then BAM.

huge argument. my licence has been expired for a week. i was driving illegally when i was cited for speeding.. oh he also cited me for having my tint too dark..what a fag. anyways.started freaking out. going to dmv tomorrow at 7:30 to beat the crowd. 11:30 now i go to my room. turn off my lights. good night world. not.

my dad barges in, "공부 안해?!" (Aren't you going to study/why aren't you studying?" blah blah blah..whatever..i hear this everyday.. then he says, no computer except for homework, no video games, and no dramas on the computer and no TV.. sad to let him know but i rarely play video games. i never watch television, i dont need the computer for anything else except homework because i have my ipod, and i dont have time to watch dramas..

sigh tells me how much he knows his son. he should think of a better punishment! it just makes me feel more rebellious and badass. anyways. story of my life. and an hour ago he was telling me how prous he was of me. that he doesn't care if i try to go professional with violin and all this grand stuff. he's so bipolar. i hate that.

i wish i could be a better son. i feel bad for him. he cares more about my life than i do. he's trying to live two lives. he can't. he just needs to admit that i'm more like mom and not him and that i can't study as well as he can. i may be smart but that's not really who i am. i just wish he understood me.

but i need to own up for messing up big. should have turned in the licence renewal long time ago. but my dad lost it and gave it back just three weeks ago. still no excuse though.

i need to more responsible, mature, and careful. my three goals for this summer.

haha he wants me to do a practice SAT test in two hours..impossible. he needs to learn that it doesnt help to do section by section at my level anymore. i need to build endurance and quick thinking. whatever. i was planning on doing it friday morning. i feel like messing up my life sometimes just to make him miserable. but he's not worth that much trouble. i'd rather just not associate with him later..ugh but my grandmother...hmmm

feeling nervous/scared/frustrated/excited right now. my mind is scrambling.
aight

peace

la la la..

Got my exam results back today. 91% but my TA didn't see a question that I answered so hopefully another +4%! If not at least a +2%.. Pretty happy about it. Started falling asleep in class. Missed half of the lecture.. boo.. not good. Something about Israel, Jews, and the Zionist movement and Nationalism or something other. hmm.. haha really not good.

Violin lesson after. Went a little longer than I expected. It was pretty fun I guess.

Sleep early today so I won't fall asleep in the lecture tomorrow.

hmmmmm..

I guess I'm going to Nathaniel's tomorrow.

and chilling with my other Indian, Justin.

I should swing by Nick's too.

I need more people in my life right now haha.

I feel like KARAOKE lol anyone wanna go with?

1. You're so annoying hah. And you're not hot. at all. so please stop acting like it.

2. I miss you so much.. not.

3. If you have a problem with me..nahh. I don't think we do. right? I mean we're chill. I don't think we've had a problem but..just something keeps telling me that you don't like me.

4. I miss YOU so much seriously. I wanted to hang out with you this summer but I couldn't go to Korea. lame. Next year fo shooo..

5. you change.

peace.

4th of July

Independence Day..sweet. Went to LA ate got haircut usual stuff went shopping went to VG after. Came home cooked dinner watched Korean dramas. Typical day..exciting no? haha. I don't really care about July 4th..its not that special. But I hope you all enjoyed it! And taking tomorrow off! well you guys probably don't have any obligations anyways. but at least for me and other summer students no class! yay.

I really don't want to go back to school. I just want to go to college and get started on my life. I'm gonna make it big and I'm determined to do so. It feels like such a waste of time going back for another year of high school. Well at least I'll be taking two "college" courses. Now that I think about it, I'll have four college course credits when I get to college. More free time means more time to study and get ahead. Then I'll have more time to party and socialize later.

I want to go for a drink.. Living in America sucks for that..in Korea I could go and by some drinks. I just miss my family. I want to drink with my aunts and my cousins. Haha it was so much fun being with them. I'm jealous of all of you guys here. Who have a lot of your family members here. I really am. I rarely get to see them or even hear their voice. I didn't even get to see all of them last summer. Hopefully next summer I'll see all of them.

That's why I never really liked Christmas or any other holidays. It feels so empty knowing that everyone else is having a huge family party or something. I've probably said this before but I don't really like my dad's side of the family. Its small, super conservative, boring, poor, too different. Its not like my mom's side is super rich, they're pretty poor too. But at least they're fun, and show love and feels like family.

I feel really relaxed and happy nowadays mostly. Except for sudden mood swings. I like it.

Its almost my brother's birthday..what should I get him? hmmmm..he's not that into video games anymore.. not really sure what he likes. He mentioned wanting a wii so I guess I'll get him that new black one maybe. I'll see.

Finished 찬란한 유산 (Shining Inheritance) yesterday. It was pretty good, but waaayyyy too serious. It was way too heavy. I like something more light hearted..like Coffee Prince haha. well started My Girl. Its pretty good. I like it. Does watching all these Korean dramas make me gay? or just a little feminine?

I admit being a little feminine, but that's because I grew up around women. I had a lot of aunts. 5 of them. And they all took care of me at one point or another. My dad was busy working at his practice. Oh and my grandmother too. Lot of girl cousins too. Hung out with one of them a lot. so i blame it on that. But i'm not gay! I hate gays.

It feels like 7:00 PM..but its almost 1:00 AM. weird.

downloaded the new AIM program..actually pretty good. I like it. I'm gonna usw it instead of meebo now.

hmmmm...I wish I had plans for this summer besides studying, reading, and practicing. But its ok. I don't know who to hang out with. But no one wants to hang out with me so its all good. I dont have to worry about it. if someone wants to they can call. I can't think of anyone that I'm dying to see. maybe a couple. but thats probably it I guess..but I miss everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying their last summer of high school. Because next year we'll all be going our seperate ways.

Makes me wonder if we'll all really bond next year. At havasu and whatnot. I hope drill pulls through. I don't know if I should do it or not. way too much pressure. And I need to worry about getting into a good college before anything else. Friends, family, God, everything can wait. well maybe not God. I need His help. and His guidance and wisdom to help me decide my future. No I'll place God at the head then I'll follow and look for schools. Our class has been kind of lacking in the class spirit area. Hopefully we change that next year. I thought maybe this year but nope. I hope I make at least one more friend that I want to keep in contact after high school.

I need to start looking at colleges..Williams, UCSD, UCLA, UCI, UCB, Amherst, Swarthmore, Vanderbilt, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth, Emory, Stanford, Pomona, University of Chicago, University of Rochester, University of New York, Brown, 연세대, 서울대.. that's probably good enough. I'm sure I'll get into at least one of those schools. I can't believe that I'm going to start applying to colleges soon. So exciting and scary. I'm gonna make it big.. thinking of going into business or law. eff medicine. too much work and can't make that much money. You're not really making profit until like the third year of working. and you don't really start working until you finish all those extra years of education and training and your money will go into paying that. Yeah it can help a lot of people and there will always be work, but I can't do that. I was never that interested in it anyways. I'm just too much of a douche and too selfish.

wow that was a lot.. I need to talk to more people lol. I've been really anti social this summer. But can't really blame me.

I <3 summer 2010. i want 09 back.

Peace.

much love

I

I wish i could go out for a drive but I don't have gas haha. Typical.

I feel so..hmmm not sure actually hah. I feel vague. there you go.

lost track of the days..is it Saturday now?

oh well..

Compassio was kinda gay. I don't know why but as soon as I walked in I was like no way I'm staying. fell asleep on the couch for a bit then bounced.

peace

Hahaha why not

Since I can't seem to fall asleep why not a third post?

mmmmm..you are a funny kid. indeed.

i hope there's someone interesting next year. to make fun of, be friends, or whatever.

kind of hungry right now.

I wish I had a pet turtle that talked. or a pet chicken.

haha don't lie to me again. LA forreals this weekend. i need haircut

no class Monday! midterm today. it was pretty good I think

hmmm what am I doing tomorrow? and this weekend? I should start climbing again.

I wonder what might happen? i really do

So bored right now

on AIM..

ehhh people should just idk. well the times are tough right now but we should just all loosen up.

muse is really good.

my guitar skills are getting better. same with piano. but i'll probably drop those two to concentrate on violin. I'm really curious as to how far I might be able to go with more work.

I just want to lay out in the sun in the shade..talk for a little eat listen to music and read a book maybe. and watch clouds. look at the grass. i miss those days haha. The most relaxed carefree chill thing ever. Haha just thiking about it makes me happy. it might sound boring but thats my ideal afternoon. and for the night if i was in seoul simple dinner. maybe a bar or movies. then karaoke and go for a drive. look at the city lights of Seoul. haha I am definitely going next year. I miss my people! God just give me one cool Korean next year. Please lol. thankss..

made the best fried rice today. I'm quite proud of myself.

could use a smoke on a day like today. too bad I quit. well my dad can smoke my share. i regret starting. and you know what i hope you stop soon. you lied that you quit a few years ago but now you smoke even more. hah what am I gonna do if you get lung cancer? you know its always on the back of my mind i even have nightmares about it. stop please. i only took off the earrings because i felt bad for you. do you really think that i would care if i couldnt meet my friends anymore? haha its easy to get out when you're never home. so please stop smoking.

hmmmm i want to go volunteer or something.

still bored..

..

.

hopefully i find something to do tomorrow hahahah.

I seriously can't wait. I have no idea why I'm so excited.

Don't forget my movie!

uhhh I'm really gonna miss you next year lol a lot

I need to shopping.

Ehhhh i guess that's it. Random thoughts of the day.

Peace

ehhhh

fuck that last post. well all the part after the Nell Part. and the apology to chandler

that ain't like me. haha ehhh idk what was up with me. I won't delete it so you guys can read what was in my head. but hahaha idk what to say. I just wish I turned out a better son. aight

peace

Nell..

I am deeply sorry for your family and your losses. I understand the pain of losing a parent but both is just unimaginable. Everyone here is praying for you and your family..hah don't know what else to say... its just so unfair..

Chandler Yen..don't worry about it. You didn't even do much. It was mostly me and Greg. I don't understand why you were there with us. And I feel that I owe you an apology. Its kind of late but tomorrow I'll call you or something. Haha I remember you were scared and didn't want to go. Then Greg threatened you with something I can't remember. hmmm.. well on behalf of Greg I would like to apologize for getting you mixed up in this. But why did this come up now?

I try not to hate people..maybe not very hard but I try.

I really don't want to go back to this school. I really don't have anyone anymore. How did it turn out like this? I never really had that many friends. Even in elementary school in Korea. everyone backstabbed me. after I came here it was even harder to make friends. couldn't speak the language. different culture and ideas..no sense of respect. Now I see every friendship I had eventually broke apart. I really wonder how I turned out like this. Bad relationships with my immediate family. No relationships with my dad's side at all. haha why am I like this today? ehhh events from today has put me in a very pensive mood.

once i clear my head I'll update again. until then good luck trying to contact me. unless i call you first.

peace